Now and Then
by relic yuy
Summary: Ennis goes to a wedding and Drew is speechless! WARNING! Ennis MOVES ON in this fic! Chapter 14.
1. Moving

Summary: Ennis to Hudson Wyoming to manage the ranch when his brother becomes town sheriff.  
Warnings: If you are a diehard Jack/Ennis fan, you may want to skip on this one. I am under the firm belief that Ennis should move on and not live a life of misery once Jack passes away. Just doesn't seem fair to me.

About a year after Jack passed away, Ennis got a call from KE. He was living down in Hudson on their grandparents old farm and he had just been elected town Sheriff. He wanted to know if Ennis could come down and take care of the farm while he tended to his sheriff duties. KE had said he figured the ranch was as much Ennis' as it was his. Reluctant as always about change, Ennis had his initial doubts but he saw no use in denying the only family he had (their sister having passed away a few years prior of breast cancer) in his time of need. Hudson was just a short trip away from Riverton so he figured he could still see his girls. So Ennis packed his few belongings into his truck, picked up his horses, tied up some lose ends and headed to off to Hudson, Wyoming.

As Ennis drove up to his grandparents place, he was reminded of his childhood. This is where he had learned to love horses. His grandfather had taught him how to ride, his mother had shown him all the great places she used to hide and play when she was little and his grandmother used to make the very best apple pies. He had played cowboys here and slain dragons, he and KE had built a fort with the giant box his grandparents first refrigerator had come in, he'd broken his arm falling off the big apple tree, swung from the tire swing that hung from it's sturdiest branch... He had been a normal kid once upon a time. Had he ever missed this place.

KE and his wife, Abey, came out of the house to greet him when he got there. KE was only a few years older than Ennis with the same sandy blonde hair and brown eyes but unlike Ennis he had put on a bit of weight over the years. He wasn't fat or anything but it was pretty clear to everyone that he wasn't the one that kept this ranch in top shape. His wife Abey, was quite a few years younger. She was almost a foot shorter than KE but she carried herself with such grace and elegance that you would hardly notice. She was fair and strong and yet she had a certain sadness to her eyes. Ennis could see that the minute she shook his hand.

"Welcome home little brother," KE said with a genuinely warm smile.

"KE," Ennis nodded and stuck out his hand. KE just raised his eyebrow.

"I ain't seen you in near 15 years and you're gonna shake my hand? Get your ass over here, boy and give your brother a hug."

Ennis smiled awkwardly and did so.

Soon, the horses were let out to roam and graze, while Ennis' few bags were brought in and he was put in the room he had slept in as a boy. Not much had changed. The furniture was the same and the walls were still sky blue. There were however new linens, no cowboys on his new bed and curtains anymore and all the toys had been put away in a small trunk at the foot of the bed. It seemed smaller which wasn't much of a surprise, _he_ had been smaller back then. They had lunch together as KE told Ennis how he had been voted Sheriff. They had been pretty surprised because Abey was half Native American and folks around there didn't take to kindly to her at first. But she mainly stayed home, didn't have many friends and usually sent KE into town to do the errands for her. KE had been a cop back in Riverton and had transfered to Hudson when he had inherited the farm. He worked hard and had secured the love and respect of the entire town a few years ago when he exposed that the mayor was trying to sell the old abandonned mines for landfill. This according to the mayor would bring lots of money to the town but he hadn't mentioned, it would contaminate the town's water, over time poisoning the crops, animals and the people themselves. After being exposed, the mayor had resigned quickly and had never been heard from in those parts again.

After lunch, KE, who now liked to be called his proper name Kyle, suggested a tour of the property to show Ennis what had changed since he had last been there. The layout of the land was pretty much the same, a few changes. The barn was in better shape than ever before, stocked generously with haybales and farm equipment (nice, large, fancy pieces that reminded Ennis of Jack and made him smile and sad all at the same time.) They grew their own hay, a combination of a few grasses and some alfalfa, and they also grew a fair amount of corn and oats for food and straw. But agriculture wasn't where the farm shined, they were known all over town and even as far as Lander for their horses. Their grandfather had the reputation of one of the greatest horsemen for miles around and his work had been loved and appreciated. The farm was very successful and years after his death, it still seemed to be thriving. Ennis noticed that the stables seemed bigger & Kyle told him they had made an attachment to the stable during a particularily good year. Soon, Ennis was introduced to the hands and found them to be good hardworking people.

"Wanna go for a ride?" Kyle asked him.

"You know it."

Ennis didn't want to disturb his horses. They were still poking around, exploring their new home and grazing in the field. So, Kyle brought him through the stable and Ennis went straight for the one horse that no one could break. A beautiful silver horse with a jet black tail and mane. She snarled and huffed at Kyle but cautiously approached Ennis and ate some hay out of his hand.

"Figures," Kyle said.

"What?"

"You always had a way with horses. Just like grandad."

Ennis smiled at this. He only had the best memories of his grandfather. He rubbed the horse's neck and whispered some words only meant for her. "You name her yet?"

"Nah, just got her Thursday."

"Think she'll let me ride her?"

"Your funeral." Kyle laughed.

Ennis shrugged it off. "Hey little lady," he said to the horse. "Seems you've been causing some trouble around here. I guess if I was shoved into a new home, with all these people I ain't never seen before trying to break me, I'd be pretty angry myself. Tell you what, let's go exploring, huh? What do you say? I'm new here too. We can see what kind of new home we're going to be living in. That a girl. Just stay still a little while longer while I tighten the saddle. I got two horses of my own. You'll meet them soon enough. You horses sure do have it good. This stable is a whole lot nicer than that little tin box I was livin' in. There you go, all done. That ain't so bad, huh?"

Kyle, who had saddled and mounted his horse was now just standing there watching Ennis in admiration. Ennis was talking to her like his grandfather had spoken to the horses back when he was alive. He had tried to imitate it but it just didn't seem to work for him. Ennis had always been the favorite, him being the youngest and all. Once upon a time, Kyle would have been green faced and furious but now, he was just glad to see it.

"I should have brought you up here the minute we got the farm." Kyle told Ennis.

"Had a wife then. Wouldn't have been able to make it."

"Well, I'm glad you're here now. Ready?"

They headed off as Kyle pointed out certain spots and reminised about days past while Ennis nodded trying to take everything in. It all seemed so long ago. Well, it was a long time ago but it felt like a different lifetime. Ennis could hardly remember what it was like being a kid and that made him a little sad.

After riding for an hour or so they arrived at the river, they dismounted and let the horses have a drink. They sat by the river in silence for a bit.

"The ranch is doing pretty well." Ennis finally said.

"Yeah, we've been lucky," Kyle smiled and looked over the land lovingly.

"Hey, I've been wonderin'... If you're a cop, who takes care of the farm. I met the hands but... who tells them what to do? Don't you have a forman?"

Kyle smiled and looked down at his boots, "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

Ennis just continued to watch him. Whoever it was sure as hell had done a great job over the years. That was all that really mattered as far as Ennis was concerned.

"Abey," Kyle said finally.

"Abey, " Ennis repeated, surprised. "So, why...?"

"Why are you here? She's pregnant now. She's been pregnant only once before. Before she knew me. She was raped. Had to have an abortion. Her father made her. He threatened to kick her out. You know back then there was nothing a girl in that position with no family could do. She had to. Really messed her up."

So that was the sadness Ennis had seen in her eyes. It made sense now but he still felt mighty uncomfortable knowing her business like this but Kyle was too deep in his story and his own troubles, he never noticed.

"The operation had to be hush hush. No damn doctor, just some idiot calling himself a medicine man. She's real fragile now. Wants to take it real easy with the pregnancy, give the child a fighting chance. But you know, it ain't just the baby I'm worried about. I'm awful scared she won't make it either." Kyle shook his head as if to clear his thoughts, he got up and brushed himself off. "So, that's where you come in! I need you to take care of the farm but also, I need you to keep an eye on her. I hate leaving her alone even for a couple of hours. This sheriff job is gonna take me away from here a lot more so I need someone I can trust around here. Now I know I ain't kept in touch over the years, especially after Linda and I got divorced. Was awful ashamed of myself, let her talk me into putting you out to fend for yourself. Said you was old enough and we didn't have the space or means to take care of you. Turned out she was a selfish bitch, only cared about herself. I shoulda been better to you."

"Fuck Kyle," Ennis said, shaking his head. "Ain't nothin'. You did what you had to do. Ain't no one holding it against you."

"I do. Your life coulda been a lot better if I hadn't a turned you out."

"Been different. Don't know about better. B'sides, you didn't just kick me out. Got me that job in Signal."

"Shouldn't a done that. Aguire was a hardass but he was a friend of Linda's daddy. Asshole... Something I'll regret all my life."

"Not me," Ennis said.

Kyle looked at him. He opened his mouth to say something but closed it instead.


	2. Fire!

Now and Then (Chapter 2)  
Summary: Unfortunate circumstances reunite Ennis with a childhood friend.  
AN: Starts up immediately after chapter 1. I warn you again, Ennis will be moving on with his life in this story. Please review!

* * *

Ennis and Kyle had continued to stare at the river for about 15 minutes. Then without uttering a word to each other, they both got back on their horses and headed back to the house. The silence continued throughout the ride until Ennis' voice startled Kyle.

"Do the McGrath's still live next door?"

"Mmmhmm."

"What's the black smoke from?" Ennis continued.

"Black smoke?" Kyle followed Ennis' line of vision and saw it as well. A thin veil of black smoke raising steadily in the sky. His police senses kicked in immediately, "Ennis, go back to the house and call the station about a fire. Abey has the number. I'm going to go find out what's going on."

Kyle had reared his horse and was headed towards the McGrath farm at full gallop. Ennis rode his mare straight up to the house in such a hurry he almost rode up the porch steps. Abey came out to see what all the fuss was about. Ennis told her and she quickly called for a ranch hand to take the horse back to the stables, she told Ennis to take his truck over to the McGraths house and help Kyle while she called the station. Everyone scattered within a minute and it wasn't until Ennis halfway to the neighbours did Kyle's words come back to him. No wonder the ranch was in such good shape. Abey, albeit gentle and elegant in appearance, was sharp of mind and quick to act. He already liked her a lot more than Linda.

He turned into the McGrath's drive and his stomach clenched. Their house was licked with flames, black smoke billowing out, roof shingles and window panes crumbling to the ground. He felt sick. He leapt out of the truck and called for Kyle but got to answer. Somewhere to his right, he heard a horse neighing. Well, Kyle was definitely here somewhere. Ennis made his way over to the horse who in his panic had gotten his reins caught in some branches. Poor creature was terrified. Ennis spoke soothing words to him while gently freeing him of the branches. Soon the horse was lose and Ennis patted him on the back and told him to go home. The horse trotted off immediately.

Guessing that Kyle had gone in the house, Ennis looked for a clear entrance. He tried to look in through the doors and windows but all he saw was smoke and fire. He called Kyle's name at the top of his lungs but got nothing. Finally when he came to the kitchen door, he judged it clear enough. He rammed the old door with his shoulder and it gave way easily. Once inside he called for Kyle again. This time, there was an answering cough. Ennis made his way towards the sound and nearly tripped over old Mrs. McGrath passed out on the kitchen floor.

"Ennis," Kyle coughed hard. "Get her out of here."

Ennis picked up the small woman and brought her outside. He went back in for his brother who was, with all his strength, tugging the motionless body of Mr. McGrath towards the back door. Ennis grabbed the old man's legs and with a bit of struggle managed to lay him in the grass next to his wife.

"Anyone else?" Ennis asked.

Kyle shook his head gasping hard. He hadn't seen anyone else but the fire had stopped him from checking everywhere.

Mr. McGrath had no pulse and Kyle tried for several minutes to revive him. Ennis informed him that Mrs. McGrath had a weak pulse and was breathing shallowly. Finally, they heard sirens. Soon after, half the men in the neighbourhood had arrived and were helping to put out the fire. The McGraths, Ennis and Kyle were all brought to the hospital.

* * *

Ennis and Kyle sat in a hospital room breathing oxygen from a mask. There was some concern about smoke inhalation. The doctor who had checked them out had stepped out to check on their test results. Mr. McGrath had been declared dead upon arrival. Mrs. McGrath was hanging by a thread and hadn't woken up yet.

Abey arrived just as Ennis and Kyle were told they were alright and could go home. Ennis said he wanted to go sit with Mrs. McGrath and he headed to her room. Abey updated Kyle on the house, the fire was out now and luckily had not spread. They hadn't found anyone else in the house but nothing could be salvaged. She also told him she had contacted their son and he would come down right away. They joined Ennis in Mrs. McGraths room to pay their final respects. Kyle had some work to do at the station, being as he was the first on the scene, but Ennis said he would rather wait here with Mrs. McGrath if no one would mind. They told him to call when he needed a ride and left.

Ennis sat next to the old lady's bed. He hadn't seen this woman in decades. She had been like a second mother to him, long ago. She had been his mamas best friend. Once she had told him that Ennis' mama was the reason she had met and married Mr. McGrath. He remembered going with his mama, brother and sister over to the McGrath's home on Sunday afternoons for tea. His mama would usually bring over a pie or cake and Mrs. McGrath would make raisin scones and a few strawberry scones for Ennis since he never really liked raisins. He had helped her when she planted her strawberry patch & come over as often as he could to help her maintain it. He had even helped her make jam one summer.

"Ennis?" A tiny voice shook him out of his thoughts. Mrs. McGrath was awake and looking weakly at him. "Ennis Del Mar? Is that really you?" There were tears in her eyes.

"Yes, Mrs. McGrath, it's me."

"Good Lord! Look at you all grown up and handsome as ever. You look just like your mother, bless her soul."

"I should get a doctor," Ennis said and got up.

"No, stay with me, dear. They'll come when they have a moment." She quiet for a moment. "Peter is gone, isn't he?"

"Yes ma'am. We tried but it was too late."

"That's alright, dear. We lived a full and happy life. I'll join him soon enough."

"You'll be alright. The doc said if you woke up, it'd be a good sign."

"Ennis, you don't need to be optimistic for me. I am not afraid of death." She paused and gave him an emotional smile. "My dear boy, I haven't seen you since you were 9 years old. You don't know how happy you've made this old lady to see you again before I pass on. We sure have missed you. I still think of you every time I go to the strawberry patch."

Ennis smiled but he was sobbing at the same time. He had never had the chance to say goodbye to his mama. Or any of the people he loved. For so long he had been taught to shove his feelings aside and be a man but today all of a sudden, he'd had his past shoved at him. A time before the stoic cowboy took over, a time when he had been happy. Seeing his grandparents farm again, and they McGrath's home where he had spent just as much time, in flames, Mr. McGrath passing away and talking to Mrs. McGrath again…This was just too much for him.

"Oh, honey, don't cry. Please don't cry, you're going to start me up."

Ennis muttered an apology and wiped his face with his sleeve.

"No need for that. You tell me about yourself. Where have you been keeping yourself?"

Ennis told her about his girls, how Junior had gotten married about a year ago and Franny had just gotten a scholarship, she wanted to be a journalist. He told her about his horses, the small jobs he had had, briefly about his marriage and divorce and even more briefly about his friend Jack.

"You were in love," She said simply when he was done. Something about the tone of her voice told him she wasn't referring to Alma. There was no judgement in her voice and that comforted him.

"Yes Ma'am."

"What happened?"

"He died." She could see the misery in his face.

"I'm sorry to hear that. But I'll bet you have some great memories."

"Not enough. More bad than good." He couldn't explain it but sitting here talking to this woman was like he was 9 years old again and he could tell her anything.

"I'm sure that's not how Jack wants to be remembered."

Ennis looked at the floor. She cupped his chin and raised it so he was looking at her. "You can't live your life in regret. We don't know for sure what comes after death. We hope we'll be reunited with the ones we love but we don't know. Jack's gone, and I know you won't ever stop loving him, or missing him but you need to let go. Don't turn his memory into a burden. He deserves better than that."

Ennis cried silently and held her hand. For the first time since Jack's death, he finally began to grieve. He wished he had more time with Mrs. McGrath, it broke his heart to be reunited with her again only to know that she would leave him soon enough. He kept her words close to his heart and when he finally stopped the tears, he realized that she had fallen asleep.

* * *

A few hours later, Ennis woke up with a stiff neck. It was late & the doctor seemed to have come in while he was asleep. Mrs. McGrath was still sleeping soundly. Ennis walked over to the window where he stretched his back and heard a pop and a crack. The night was still and it sent chills up his spine.

The door swung open and a man in his early forties with light brown hair and emerald green eyes walked right over to the lady in the bed. He bent down and brushed the hair out of her face lovingly. Ennis saw him purse his lips in an attempt to control his emotions. Mrs. McGrath eyes fluttered open and the man burst into tears.

"Mama," he said.

"Andrew," she said, equally teary. "I knew you'd make it."

"I can't believe this is happening."

"We've been old for quite some time now dear."

"Doesn't make it any easier."

"It's never easy, love." Her eyes searched the room for Ennis. "Look who's here, Andrew."

Andrew followed her gaze to the window. His eyes went wide and his mouth dropped open.

"Ennis?"

"Hey, Drew. Been a long time." Ennis smiled shyly.

"Holy shit… ummm…" Drew paused throwing a glance at his mother.

"Oh please, as if I ain't never heard a swear word before. Go hug your friend."

Drew nearly launched himself across the room and enveloped Ennis in a big bear hug. Drew had been Ennis' best friend growing up. His only friend really. They had been inseparable but when Ennis had stopped coming to Hudson for visits, they had tried to remain friends through letters, eventually they had lost touch.

"Boys," Mrs. McGrath called them over. She sounded very sleepy. They approached the bed on either side and help her hands. "I'm glad I got to see the reunion. Don't you grow apart again. Life is too short. I'm so glad I get to be with my boys in my final moments. I love you both so much."

Drew began to answer her but her eyes fluttered shut and she was gone.


	3. Old Friends

A/N. Italics are flashbacks and once again, Ennis is moving on in this fic. Not so much here. For now there is just friendly interaction but be warned. Please review. I love your comments & constructive criticism. Even feel free to tell me what you think about Drew and the thought of Ennis moving on. For now, thank you and enjoy.

* * *

Drew came out of the hospital where he had spent the past half hour filling out paperwork. He sat next to Ennis on the front steps. Ennis offered him the cigarette he had just lit up but Drew shook his head.

"Don't smoke," Drew explained.

Ennis' eyebrow shot up at the comment. He didn't think he had ever met a man who didn't smoke before. Hell, he could hardly think of a girl who didn't smoke. Maybe Junior, he knew Franny did. Still, he wasn't one to question a man's decisions. Drew looked… well, like he had just lost his parents. Ennis remembered that feeling. He put a hand on Drew's shoulder and gave it a squeeze.

"How you doing?" He asked and regretted his choice of words the minute they left his mouth. How could Drew be feeling? His parents and his childhood home were gone.

Unable to quite describe how he felt to himself, Drew chose not to say anything at all. Ennis, in an attempt to make amends, tried again.

"You wanna go get a drink?"

"Don't drink."

"What the hell?" Ennis blurted out before he could stop himself. He was just so damn surprised. This man didn't smoke or drink?

Drew looked up surprised at Ennis' outburst and stared at the man. A great big grin spread across his face and it soon turned into great bursts of laughter. Clearly this was not the first time Drew had seen a reaction like that. He was used to it but the look on Ennis' face was just priceless, _and _it got better. Soon Ennis was blushing and averting his eyes, embarrassed by the crack in his usually stoic composure. But even as he muttered "asshole," got up, dusted himself off and headed off to the parking lot, he was chuckling along quietly.

Drew got up as well and tried to compose himself. His plan was to follow Ennis to his car and give him a ride home but the stairs seemed to have their own plans. They wanted to trip him and they did. Drew lost his footing on the second last step and hit the ground with a thud. Ennis rushed back to help him but his concern turned into a long string of curses when he realized Drew was still laughing.

"Goddamn fucking idiot! You sure you don't drink?" He lugged Drew to his feet and straightened his friends jacket for him. He would never tell you, but if you asked Drew, Ennis was laughing as well throughout the whole ordeal. Just a little, but for Ennis Del Mar, it was impressive.

* * *

Half an hour later, they were both in the car, the radio playing quietly as they travelled along a dirt road. Drew drove a Volkswagen. Ennis had never seen one up close before and he had certainly never been inside of one before so he spent most of the ride comparing this car to a regular American one. This car had more knick knacks that he had ever seen in his life but it sure wasn't made for handling dirt roads.

"So, where are you staying?" Ennis asked after he had exhausted his comparative observations.

"Your sister in law offered me KE's old bedroom."

"He likes to be called _Kyle _now." Ennis informed him, somewhat sarcastically.

"No kidding. I think I like that better."

"Weird though. Called him one thing his whole damn life and all of a sudden he wants us to call him something else."

"Oh, what a terrible inconvenience to _you._" Drew said with a straight face but glanced sideways to catch Ennis' reaction.

"Shut up," Ennis shoved him in the arm.

"Hey, watch it, I'm driving here." Drew laughed.

"Still an asshole, huh?"

"Yes, you are but I won't hold it against you."

Ennis slapped the back of Drew's head lightly. He was glad that even after all these years and the different lives they lead, their friendship still came as natural as it did when they were kids.

"What are you going to do now? About the farm I mean." Ennis said.

"Well, I ain't got the heart to sell it. It's been in the family for generations but I sure as hell don't know how to run a farm. Damn, I'll think about it in the morning. Why the hell are you making me think at a time like this?" Drew teased.

"Sorry," Ennis stuttered. "I didn't mean nothing."

"I know that, you big dope. It was a joke."

"Listen, Drew, if you need anything, I'd be glad to help you out. Anything you need."

"Huh," Drew seemed disappointed. "I was sure you were going to make some kind of joke about me never thinking."

"Andrew Fucking McGrath!" 

"Yes, mother?" Drew blinked innocently at him.

"Shut up, dumbass." Ennis rolled his eyes with a smile and looked out the window.

The car was silent for a few minutes.

"Thanks, Ennis." Drew finally said quietly. "I'm glad you're here. I sure need my best friend at a time like this. Mom talked about you every time she we ate strawberries. Your grandparents didn't know much about you. Must have had a pretty big falling out with your folks but that ain't none of my business. Point is, we sure did miss you."

As Drew said these final words, he took one hand off of the steering wheel and placed it over Ennis'. Startled by the touch, Ennis yanked his hand away. He looked over at Drew, trying to asses his intentions but Drew just looked confused.

"Sorry," Ennis muttered.

"Nothing to be sorry for. Look we're here and it looks like KE… I mean Kyle waited up for us."

* * *

"Drew Fucking McGrath." Kyle greeted them at the door.

"The one and only." Drew grinned. "How's it going Kyle?"

"That's sheriff to you." He lead them into the kitchen and held out a beer to each of them.

"You always were a show off," Drew said shaking his head at the beer.

"And you were always causing trouble. You just make sure you keep my kid brother out of it." Kyle popped the top off of the beer he had offered Drew and sat down to enjoy it himself.

"How can Ennis get in trouble, his brother's the sheriff."

Kyle raised his eyebrow and scowled. Drew and Ennis started to chuckle and before he could help himself Kyle was laughing along with them.

"Sorry about your parents, Drew." Kyle said. "We tried to save them but it was just too late. I'm launching an investigation to find out what happened. You know you're welcome to stay here as long as you like. Your Dad's farm hands are going to show up as usual tomorrow. They told me they knew what they needed to do but you can borrow Ennis and he can teach you how to work on a farm again."

"Kyle, I grew up on a farm. I know how to work it."

"Maybe you did but after 20 years in the big city you're bound to be rusty."

"It's only been 16 years and I come home for a few weeks at least 2 times a year. I know what I'm doing."

"Yeah, like last time you tried to ride Liquorice."

"What happened?" Ennis, who had been quietly sipping his beer and listening to the interaction, piped up when he heard this.

"Nothing happened," Drew said, rolling his eyes.

"HA!" Kyle nearly doubled over. "He walked up behind her all quiet like and then let off his big mouth to say hello. Spooked the old girl and she kicked back. Nearly split him in half!"

Ennis and Kyle both crowed with laughter and Drew, red faced but smiling nonetheless, tried to redeem himself. "She barely touched me. Just a small bruise on the shin."

"The way you carried on about it, you woulda thought he'd been mauled by wolves!"

When their laughter finally died down, Drew was shown to his room which was now decorated in lace and pink flowers. He looked at Kyle like he had grown a second head.

"Shut up," Kyle said. "We're turning it into the nursery."

"You're having a kid? At your age? Poor thing. Hey, you'll both be on walkers at the same time."

"Boy, do you want to sleep in this nice warm bed or outside in your European car?"

"Thank you, Kyle." Drew said with a big goofy grin. "Congratulations."

They all said their goodnights and headed off to their respective rooms.

* * *

Ennis was staring at the ceiling. It was so eerie being here again. Like his life had come full circle and here he was again, in his grandparents house with his best friend sleeping next door. What a crappy homecoming, Ennis thought. When he had gotten the news of his parents death he had been struck dumb. Couldn't utter a word for 3 days. Barely said anything after that. He couldn't believe he would never see his mom again. He missed her so much. He didn't miss his dad though and that made him feel awful guilty. What kind of a son was he? He'd been so afraid someone would find out he didn't miss his dad that he avoided everyone and only answered with single syllable words. All that sadness, the guilt and the fear of who he was the beginning of the secluded Ennis Del Mar most people knew.

He sure hoped that didn't happen to Drew. It sure as hell didn't seem to be happening to Drew. What the fuck was up with him anyway? He had been easy-going and quick to laugh all evening. Seemed like an awful strange way to mourn your parents.

_

* * *

A 7 year old Ennis lay in his bed staring up at the ceiling when his bedroom window creaked open. Ennis watched as Drew climbed into his room quietly and closed the window again. Drew toed off his shoes quietly and crept into bed with Ennis. They didn't say a word but Drew snuggled close to his best friend and sighed._

_Drew's horse Hershey, re- named after Drew's favourite sweet treat once he claimed her as his own, had been put down that morning. She was old. Older than Drew was and she was going blind. She bumped into everything and had slipped and gashed her leg on some sharp rocks down by the river. Drew wasn't supposed to take her to the river but she was his favourite horse and she would get jealous if he had taken another. The wound on her leg had become infected and by the time the vet was able to come out to see her, it was already too late to do anything to save her. _

_All day Drew had been chipper and helpful. He had sat with Hershey until her final moments, then left with his father to do the daily chores. He helped his mother make an apple pie and gone riding on his bike with Ennis and some other boys from town. They ate ice cream, played cards and teased a group of girls. He hadn't mentioned Hershey once, even when Ennis had asked about her. Mrs. McGrath had informed Ennis about Hershey when he had come to see if Drew wanted to go biking. _

"_It wasn't your fault," Ennis said._

"_Yeah it was," Drew sniffled. "I shouldn't have taken her to the river. Dad told me not to. I just…" _

"_I know," Ennis said, rubbing his back. "But she was pretty old. Remember we heard your dad say that if she continued on her pace, they would have to put her down in a month anyway."_

"_But I coulda had one more month with her!"_

"_Come on, Drew. You didn't mean for her to get hurt. You loved her more than you love chocolate cake and Mindy Parker." Ennis taunted._

"_I do NOT like Mindy Parker," Drew huffed indignantly._

"_Oh yeah? Too bad, when you went to replace the ice cream you dropped, she told me she liked you."_

"_Really?" Drew's sniffled ceased for a moment._

"_What do you care? You don't like her."_

"_Liar! She did not say that!"_

"_Ok. She didn't. I was hoping to make you feel a little better."_

"_It's all my fault, Ennis."_

"_It is not. Now go to sleep. There's only 5 and a half hours before we have to wake up." _

_Drew nodded and sniffled quietly, lost in thought. Ennis looked over at him. _

"_You know," Ennis said," That day at the river. Hershey looked real happy. I think she was glad you took her along. Better than spending her last few days in a dark stable bumping into things."_

"_She was pretty happy, wasn't she?" Drew said quietly._

"_Yeah."_

"_I was really glad to have her with me too."_

"_I'll bet she knew that."_

"_Thanks, Ennis."_

"_Night, Drew."_

"_Night, Ennis."_

* * *

Ennis smiled at the memory. Sleep began to claim Ennis but his thoughts stayed on Drew. Poor Drew. He was probably crying alone in his pink frilly room right now.

He could have only been asleep for about 5 minutes when he felt the bed dip. Ennis opened his eyes and in the darkened room, he saw Drew with his tear streaked face and miserable expression try to climb into bed with him.

"What the hell? Drew, are you nuts?"

Drew paused and looked at Ennis pleadingly. "Please, Ennis? Just like old times. I don't want to be alone right now."

"Drew we ain't kids no more. Two men can't sleep in the same bed."

"Ennis, shut up and move over will ya? I need something familiar tonight. My parents are gone, my house is burnt to a crisp… shove over."

Ennis moved over reluctantly. He was too tired to argue and Drew sure did need a friend right now. Drew climbed in and they lay next to one another. The bed felt a lot smaller than it once did but they weren't 7 years old anymore. They exchanged no words but quickly fell into a deep and peaceful slumber.


	4. Rumours

Now and Then (Chapter 4 )  
AN: So far we're still rated T but the next chapter will be rated M so watch out for that.  
Reviews: PLEASE!!!

Two months after the boys had moved to Hudson and life was finally starting to settle down. Ennis, having at first felt awkward telling people what to do, had quickly won the respect of the ranch hands with his knowledge and hard work. Drew, who knew how to work a farm (even if he did grumble the entire day about it,) certainly did not know how to run one handed the job over to his best friend but followed him around like a shadow and learned as much as he could. Abey continued to take care of the paperwork and clients. With Ennis around to direct the help, she found she had a lot extra time on her hand and offered to take over Drew's clients while he learned the ropes. She handled the pregnancy gracefully and without complaint but she could just swear that she was having twins. An ultrasound would later confirm that she was indeed having twins. This of course sent Kyle in a panic. Torn between his duty to the town and his love for his wife, he hired a local girl who was taking a year off of nursing school to make some money. This calmed Kyle a little but he still made frequent trips back to the ranch throughout the day to check on her.

Drew, as it turned out, had been between jobs in the city and was quite pleased with the idea of returning to the simple life. Construction on the new McGrath house had begun and Drew was rediscovering what it was like to live in a small town. All of Hudson had offered a helping hand. The men with the building, the women with the painting, some ladies had offered to make curtains, others brought food over for the builders and Drew was offered all the furniture anyone wasn't using if he wanted it. All his life, Drew had dreamed of getting away from Hudson but confronted with all this kindness and generosity, he couldn't quite remember why.

His friendship with Ennis continued to be easy going and natural. Ennis spoke considerably less than he had all those years ago but Drew didn't mind. He filled up the silence when he thought the air was too thick and enjoyed it when there was really nothing that needed to be said. They hadn't shared a bed again since that first night. Drew's parents had never feared death and although he missed them very much, Drew had made his peace with their passing. He wasn't looking forward to living alone in the new house but he thought maybe he might have an idea.

"Hey Ennis," Drew said one day as they headed back to the house for dinner. "I've been thinking. You know how Abey is having twins?"

Ennis nodded.

"Well, I was thinking that they'll probably need lots a room. Maybe once the house is built, you could come live with me."

Ennis raised an eyebrow and looked at him from the corner of his eye. He kept his head straight and waited for Drew to continue.

"Seems kinda stupid for me to live in a big house all by myself. This way, you're still close to the farms and Abey and Kyle will finally get their privacy back. Kyle's been bugging me about how we're always around. What do you say?"

Ennis sighed to let Drew know that he was thinking it over. Made sense to him. They'd each have their own room, close to the farms, the twins would need their space and they would probably be loud too. Cut into his sleeping time and make him less productive. He was sure Kyle would like his house back. He did like the idea of sleeping in a big bed again. This tiny twin one he needed to curl up in was a pain. His feet usually dangled over the edge.

"How much?" Ennis said finally.

"What?" Drew asked.

"Rent," Ennis explained.

"Oh, no! You're running my farm! Consider the board as payment."

"No." Ennis said plainly.

"Stubborn jackass. Fine, you can pay rent. We'll figure out how much later."

"Where you going in such a hurry?"

"I'm staaaaaarrrved." THUD.

Ennis shook his head and picked Drew up. "See this thing?" Ennis began seriously. "It's called _a porch_ and it's raised off the ground so you have to step up onto it."

"Shut up, you!" Drew grinned at Ennis' forced patience.

"You need help with the _door _too?" Ennis continued, speaking slowly so Drew could understand.

"I said, shut it!"

* * *

One day while sitting in the town diner, Drew met an old classmate. Loyd Burrows had been in the same class as Drew and they had lots of mutual friends but Drew couldn't ever recall being particularly fond of Loyd himself. He wasn't quite sure why but he was about to be reminded. 

"Hey there, McGrath!" Loyd said, clapping him on the back and sitting next to him in the diner. "Hear you was in town. How you been?"

"About as good as I can get for a guy who lost his house and parents," Drew said simply.

"Yeah, sorry about that."

"No fault of yours." Drew smiled. "It's been nice being back here, seeing everyone again."

"Where are you staying?"

"The sheriff took me in. I'm gonna stay there while the house is being rebuilt."

"Who's taking care of the farm?"

"Sheriff's brother, Ennis. Runs them both (sheriffs & mine) and thank god for that. I've been away too long."

"Ennis Del Mar, huh?" Loyd said with a scowl.

"Yeah," Drew didn't like the tone Loyd's had taken but did his best to seem unaffected. "What of him?"

"Word is around here that he just ain't right." Loyd whispered with glance around.

"What's wrong with him?" Drew whispered back.

Loyd looked around again. "Some folk are saying that... that he plays for the other team."

"What? He's gay?"

"Will you shut your mouth?" Loyd looked around, more paranoid than before. "You can't just toss that word around here like that! Listen, what he does is his own damn business but if you ask me, I'd tell ya to stay away from him."

"Loyd, I've known Ennis since we was kids. We're best friends. As a matter of fact, he'll be renting a room with me once the house is built, so as to give the sheriff and his wife some space, especially with the twins coming."

"You're gonna live with the faggot?" Loyd whispered disgusted.

"First of all, you don't know that he is. Second, I'm pretty damn sure the Sheriff wouldn't be too happy with you talking about his little brother that way and third, even if he was gay, that don't mean he'll hump every man that crosses his path."

"You never know what them faggots are thinking. They probably want to but they'd get killed before they even tried."

"You fuck every woman you see?" Drew asked with an arch of his brow.

"Hell no! Have you seen the cows in this town?"

"My point exactly. I'd rather take my chances with Ennis Del Mar."

"You a faggot?" Loyd asked him with a frown.

"Do I look like a faggot?" Drew shot back without hostility.

"Guess not. But anyway, I warned you. You watch out now." Loyd picked up the sandwich he had ordered and left the diner.

Drew watched him leave and shook his head. Oh yeah, he thought, ignorant asses like Loyd were why I wanted to get the hell out of here. Most people were too busy to care about what others did in the city. Then again, you would never find the kindness Hudson had shown him since he had come home in the city. The lesser of two evils, he guessed but he wasn't quite sure which was the lesser.

* * *

The next morning, Drew found Ennis on the porch drinking coffee. It was raining and Ennis was just quietly surveying the farm. The air was crisp and fresh. 

"Morning Ennis." Drew said.

Ennis grunted in acknowledgment, barely looking up from his cup.

"Hey, you wanna come with me this weekend?"

Ennis waited for Drew to continue. Drew sipped at his own cup and blinked at Ennis waiting for an answer. Ennis looked at Drew over the rim of his cup and raised an eyebrow.

"You gonna tell me where?" Ennis said finally.

Drew gasped dramatically. "What? You're not going to follow me to the end of the world as my very best friend in the whole wide world?"

"Nope."

"Aww."

"You can pout all you want. Never even worked for my girls."

"You wound me, Ennis. You truly wound me."

"Shut up, ya moron. Where the hell do you want me to go?"

"I need to head back to the city to pack up the rest of my stuff. It won't all fit in my Volkswagen so we'd need to take your truck."

"Yeah, sure."

"You ever been to the city before?"

"Nope, never needed to."

"Really? I can show you around."

"Not much on sightseeing."

"It'll be fun. I promise. Would I ever lie to you?"

Ennis just looked over at him and Drew grinned innocently.

* * *

That weekend Ennis left a list of things to be done told the help they could ask Abey if they had any questions. He warned them not to bother her though and ignored it when they rolled their eyes at his protectiveness of her. They had worked on the farm for years, they knew what to do. With a small bag slung over his shoulder he headed to the truck and hollered to Drew to hurry the hell up. Kyle had already gone down to the station but he had reminded them to behave themselves last night at dinner. Drew had saluted and said "Yes, Sir!" Kyle had tossed him a look and answered, "Especially you McGrath. Ennis' brother ain't sheriff where you're going. Stay out of trouble." They had bickered back and forth over dinner while Ennis explained to Abey the tasks he had left for the hands. He asked her a million times if she would be ok without them and she had told him a million times that she would be. 

Drew finally came out of the house. followed by Abey. She had prepared them a lunch and a few snacks for the road. Ennis opened his mouth but Abey cut him off by telling him she would be fine and she had been running this farm long before he had come along. Ennis had opened his mouth again but she continued by saying being pregnant was not a disease and she was not invalid, she could take care of herself. Drew had poked Ennis in the side and told him to back off the poor lady. Ennis kissed her on the cheek, told her to take it easy and they were on their way.

It soon was revealed to Ennis that Drew liked to sing on the open road. After an hour of off tune radio singalongs, Ennis pulled over to the side of the road and told Drew that if he uttered another note, he was turning the truck around and going back right away! Drew asked if he could hum and Ennis realized that he would talk otherwise so allowed this as long as Drew was quiet. Drew hummed for a few minutes before he fell asleep and Ennis cursed himself for not saying something sooner.

They arrived in front of Drew's apartment building in the late afternoon. Ennis, who had never known traffic before in his life was in much need of a drink. Drew led him to the apartment and they were greeted by a man watching television in his underwear. Ennis frowned but didn't say a word.

"Hey Mike," Drew smiled, not seeming to notice that the man was half naked. "How you been?"

"Not bad. How's the farm life?"

"Pretty good. This is my friend Ennis. Ennis, this is my roomate Mike."

Ennis nodded at him. Mike noticed he was tense and offered Ennis a beer. Ennis agreed, relieved. He had been afraid that Drew's place would be alcohol free. Drew and Mike caught up and Ennis sat quietly sipping his beer. Mike informed Drew that he had gotten engaged and his fiance Angie was moving in with him the following week. Drew offered to take them out to celebrate but Mike declined, saying that he and Angie were going to her parents place for dinner and would probably stay the night. Drew had teased him for being whipped already and Mike tossed a pillow at his head and went to get ready.

"Well," Drew said to Ennis, "I guess you and I are on our own."

* * *

Back at the Del Mar farm, the phone rang and Kyle went to pick it up. 

"Hello?"

"Hello, is this Mr. Del Mar?"

"Yes ma'am, this is Kyle."

"Oh. Excuse me, I was looking for an Ennis Del Mar."

"He's away for the weekend, can I take a message?"

"Yes, this is Lauren Twist. Ennis and my son used to be friends."

"Used to be?"

"Yes. Jack passed away last year."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I had no idea."

"That's alright. God makes no mistakes and it's not my place to question his decisions."

"How can I help you Mrs. Twist?"

"I wanted to send a package to Ennis. Where should I send it to?"

Kyle gave her the address and Mrs. Twist thanked him.

"I'll send it out Monday morning. Could you not mention this phone call to Ennis? I would like the package to be a surprise."

"That sounds ok to me," Kyle said. "You have a great day now."

"I will now. Thank you Mr. Del Mar."


	5. What a Dream!

Webber's Old Irish Pub was one of Drew's favorite hang outs. The place was smoky and bathed in dim light. The patrons scattered around the pub chatting, playing snooker and darts, while a small band played on the stage. Ennis felt really out of place. Drew, thoughtful as ever had dressed him in a neatly pressed pair of slacks and nice brown, V neck sweater so at least he didn't stick out like a sore thumb. Ennis hadn't been allowed to take his hat with him so he kept his head low and peaked around from beneath his lashes.

"Whiskey and a Coke," Drew called out to the bartender, slapping the bar as they sat.

"You don't drink Drew," the bartender said approaching them, a glass of Coke ready in one hand & a box of darts in the other.

"Nope, but my friend here does." Drew said with a nod indicating Ennis.

"Sure looks like you need one mate," The barkeep smiled, pouring him a glass. "Name's William Webber. First time you've been to an Irish Pub?"

Ennis nodded.

"Not a surprise. Most Americans are like to be sombre when they drink. We're just looking for a good time with some good company. There you go. First round is on me. Loosen up, we don't bite." Webber smiled warmly at Ennis and went off to serve someone else.

Ennis could see why Drew liked this place. They were a friendly bunch. Drew pulled Ennis over to an empty dart board and they played a few rounds. Ennis tried Irish beer for the first time in his life and found that it wasn't bad. Bitter and strong but he was a tough guy, he could handle it. A few girls came to chat them up. At one point Ennis saw a very drunken man stumble over to another and give him a big kiss on the lips. Ennis' eyes widened and he looked around to see if anyone else had noticed. Some people did and laughed it off. Others cheered them on with cat calls and whistles. Ennis looked over at Drew.

"That's Toby," Drew explained. "He's affectionate drunk, kisses everyone when he's hammered. Kissed me once, has nice lips. Tasted awful though. I just don't understand how you can drink that stuff."

"You didn't mind?" Ennis asked bewildered.

"Nah! Toby's a good guy. Hungry?"

Drew got up and put his coat on. He paid William Webber and headed for the door. Ennis could barely believe it. Ennis had lived in the fear his entire life but here Toby was kissing men and women every time he got drunk without consequence. He nodded to William, took a final look at Toby who was stealing another kiss and followed Drew outside.

Drew led him a few doors down to a Chinese restaurant. They went in and sat at a table. Ennis looked around at the paper lanterns and dragons decorating the walls. There were candles on the table, potted bamboo in big Chinese vases, instrumental Chinese music played quietly in the background and the waitresses were all dressed in beautiful silk dresses. To anyone else, this place would have been the picture of tacky and overdone but Ennis thought it was the classiest and most cultured place he had ever been to. He looked at the menu but couldn't find a burger and fries anywhere. He looked to Drew for guidance.

"Let me order," Drew assured him.

Fifteen minutes later, Ennis was introduced to green tea, spring rolls, fried rice, chow mein and beef in black bean sauce. Ennis sniffed at his tea and made a face. He sipped it carefully and found he did not like green tea. Drew told him it would grow on him but Ennis didn't believe him. So, Drew ordered him a glass of water. Ennis sniffed at his spring roll and found that it smelled pretty good. He asked Drew what was in it.

"It's chicken, shrimp & vegetables but wait!"

It was too late, Ennis had taken a big bite and his eyes nearly popped out of his head. He spat out the burning hot piece of food while Drew shoved the glass of water at him. One of the waitresses came over to see if he was alright and Drew explained what happened. She smiled, told him to please be careful as all the dishes were served piping hot and brought a pitcher of water to the table. Drew laughed until he was red and Ennis glared daggers at him. He waited another minute, blew on the spring roll and tried it again. This time it was just right and tasted delicious. He soon found that he also liked fried rice and chow mein and he really liked beef in black bean sauce. Drew told him they could have some again tomorrow and Ennis was satisfied.

With a full belly and his veins buzzing with alcohol, Ennis was ready to hit the hay. Drew drove them back to the apartment and told Ennis that since Mike was away, he could sleep in Mike's bed. Ennis brushed his teeth and said goodnight to Drew. Once in Mike's room, he stripped down to his boxers and undershirt and folded Drew's clothes in a neat pile. He placed them on top of his bag on the floor as Mike's room had clothing and junk strewn everywhere.

Ennis sat on the bed but leaped up again. He poked the mattress with a finger and it was soft and wiggly and cold. Ennis frowned and poked it again. Was that… water? Mike's mattress was filled with water? Ennis tried to sit on the mattress again and bobbed up and down. He lay down slowly and rocked in the small waves. For nearly an hour, Ennis lay in bed and stared at the ceiling. He tried to turn on his side but that only swished the water around in the mattress and made him feel a little sick to the stomach.

Giving up on waterbeds, Ennis got up and made his way into the living room. Mike's dog Scruffy had claimed the sofa and he was not giving it up. Grumbling, Ennis headed back down the hall to Drew's room. He let himself in and found Drew fast asleep. Ennis approached the bed. He poked the mattress carefully and was relieved to find that it was not filled with water. Just springs and foam and whatever else went in a mattress. He shoved Drew in the shoulder.

"What's wrong?" Drew murmured, his voice thick with sleep.

"Shove over. Mike's mattress is making me sick."

Drew laughed sleepily and smiled a lazy smile. "If you wanted to cuddle, Ennis, all you had to do was ask."

"Shut up, moron." Ennis said, sliding between the sheets. "Sleep."

"Night, Ennis." Drew said.

Ennis grunted.

* * *

_Later that night..._

Ennis nearly tore the boxers off of Drew.

"Eager, aren't we?" Drew said, his eyes twinkling, his smile mischievous. He lifted his hips to help Ennis ease them off.

"Whose damn fault is that?" Ennis growled at him, yanking his own shirt over his head. "Fucking tease!"

"Me? What did I do?" Drew smiled innocently although he was tugging Ennis' boxers down.

"What did you do?" Ennis said pushing himself up and kicking off his boxers as he balanced himself on one knee.

"Aren't we well endowed?" Drew said distractedly licking his lips.

"You're one to talk."

"You noticed huh?" Drew pulled himself to a sitting position.

"Hard not to with you rubbing yourself up against me. Fucking tease."

"You seemed _hardly_ bothered by that." Drew waggled his eyebrows and began to giggle. "Get it? Hardly!"

Ennis looked at Drew turning red from laughter and rolled his eyes. "That was terrible."

"It was funny!!!"

"Terrible! I'm going back to the waterbed." Ennis pulled himself off the bed and tried to head for the door but Drew caught his hand and yanked him back.

They tumbled backwards onto the bed laughing. Drew brought his lips to Ennis' for their first kiss. Ennis responded with enthusiasm. Drew tilted his hips up once again to regain the delicious friction he'd first used to entice Ennis. He broke the kiss to trail a wet line down Ennis' neck to his left nipple. He bit down gently then soothed the swollen nub with licks and kisses. He blew cool air to harden it then bit down again.

"Fuck. Damn it, Drew! " Ennis groaned, pushing himself up on his forearms.

He flipped Drew over and rubbed his erection against the curve of Drew's smooth bum. Drew pulled himself up the length of the bed and reached towards his nightstand. Shuffling a hand around in the drawer, he finally pulled out a little tube and handed it to Ennis. Taking the tube and kneeling, Ennis slicked himself up and placed the tube at Drew's entrance. He squeezed the tube and Drew squirmed at the cool liquid. Tossing the tube aside, Ennis gripped Drew's hips and pulled him up on his hands and knees. Drew giggled and waved his butt at Ennis. Holding him in place, Ennis slid into him with one deep, smooth motion.

As it turned out, Drew was a moaner. Not just grunts and curses as Ennis was used to but actual moans and gasps. Ennis couldn't help but smile.

"Damn, you're one loud sonofabitch!"

Drew answered with long whining moan as he pressed himself back against Ennis, trying to get him to move. Ennis took the hint and pulled out slowly. He thrust back in carefully, not quite sure how to take it with Drew. Clinging onto fists full of sheets, Drew let out a strangled gasp that sounded a lot like "harder." Thank God, thought Ennis. Slow and sweet had never really been his style anyway. Drew was making sounds Ennis had never heard before and although they turned him on mightily, Drew really was being loud. In an attempt to muffle the noises, Ennis pushed Drew's face down into the pillow. Drew took the hint and bit hard on the soft cushion. He tried to quiet down but it was really hard to do with your sexy, very well endowed best friend pounding you hard and fast, filling you completely, over and over again. The mattress creaked angrily and the headboard hit the wall.

"Wait," Drew gasped after a few minutes.

"Too hard?" Ennis said slowing his pace.

"No," Drew said, flipping over and laying on his back. "Old mattress. The springs were hurting my knees."

Ennis shook his head and smirked. Drew pulled him close and kissed him deeply. He lifted his legs and hooked them over Ennis' shoulders. "Carry on."

Ennis looked down at the position Drew was in. "You comfortable like that?"

"Sure, I'm very bendy."

"Oh yeah?" Ennis pushed Drew's knees back against his chest, bringing his hips up higher. "So you are."

Drew felt Ennis fill again and he realized that this position might be problematic. It wasn't long before Ennis caught on as well.

"Fuck's sake!" Ennis said trying to shut Drew up with kisses. "I'm gonna have to gag you!"

Drew's eyes went wide and sparkled. "Really?"

"Pervert," Ennis shot, biting his lip gently.

"Said the man who was... Ooh... balls deep in... Mmmm... Ennis..."

"You're so damn loud."

"You love it." Drew grinned because he could see that Ennis really did love it. Then he had an idea. "Ennis, lie down."

"What?"

"I wanna ride you."

"How will that shut you up?"

"Can't talk when I'm concentrating."

Ennis figured it was worth a try and pulled out letting Drew's legs fall on either side of him on the bed. Drew immediately pushed himself up and began kissing him, unwilling to lose too much contact. Laughing, they rolled over until Ennis was on his back and Drew, along with all the bedsheets landed in a tangled mess on the ground.

* * *

Ennis woke up with a start. He peered over the side of the bed at Drew who was blinking bewilderedly at him & gasping hard. 

"You fall?" Ennis asked with a yawn.

Drew nodded.

"Remind me to make fun of you in the morning," said Ennis. He rolled over and went back to sleep.

Drew looked at the bed. Ennis was laying there in his t-shirt and boxers. Drew looked down at himself. He was still in his boxers and had the sheets tangled around him.

"Uh oh," He said aloud.

* * *

AN: Just to be clear, the sex scene was Drew's dream. Sorry. I wasn't sure if the uh oh made that clear enough. Reviews please! Tell me if you hate it and why! 


	6. Resurfacing Feelings

A.N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed. Seems I shocked you all with that dream. Good good. I figured it was time to stir things up a bit. Quick note: Italics are flashbacks.

* * *

Drew sat on the floor, tangled in the sheets until his breathing returned to normal. He looked at the bed but decided he should go to the bathroom instead. As if he could go back to sleep after a dream like that. Next to the man he had dreamt of, no less. With the washroom door locked safely behind him Drew let his head rest against the door as he sighed. He hadn't had a dream like that in ages! And what a dream! Flashes of smooth skin and wet kisses flitted through his mind. He closed his eyes so he could better remember and his hand travelled down to his still throbbing erection. 

Well, this was certainly unexpected. Sure, Ennis was a good looking guy. He had this rugged, sexy, brooding, smoldering air to him and a tall lanky, well built hard body with an ass... Ok! Let's not go down that road again! Drew cleaned himself off and splashed some cold water on his face then dried off and headed for the kitchen. The point was Ennis was a good looking guy. Anyone could see that. And they got along well, Ennis seemed comfortable around him. Drew was comfortable with Ennis as well. They had a good friendship. So where had this dream come from all of a sudden? Drew looked into the fridge for something to nibble on and came across some tupperware. Mike's fiance, Angie had made some cherry tarts. He used to love these...

* * *

_Mrs. Del Mar and her children had come over for tea. Kyle and Ennis had gone out to the barn to see the new fawn with Mr. McGrath but Drew had already seen her and was more interested in the cherry tarts that Mrs. Del Mar had brought over. As he savoured a big mouthful of the tart, Drew noticed that his Mom and Mrs. Del Mar were talking about their friend Sharon. She had to chose between two men who wanted to marry her. One of them owned a lot of land but was an old widower and the other a poor farm hand whom she had been sweethearts with in highschool. Both men loved her very much and she was having trouble deciding who she wanted to marry._

_"I know who I want to marry when I grow up," a 5 year old Drew said proudly._

_"Already?" Mrs. Del Mar had said with a big smile._

_Drew nodded vigorously._

_"Well that's a big decision," Mrs. Del Mar told him. "You need to make sure you love that person more than anyone else in the whole wide world."_

_Drew nodded again._

_"And that you can tell that person anything and trust them with all your secrets."_

_With a big grin, Drew nodded again. _

_"Well, I see you've thought this through," Mrs. Del Mar smiled kindly. "Who do you want to marry?"_

_"My very best friend in the whole world!" Drew declared loudly, "Ennis!"_

_Mrs. Del Mar and Drew's Mom laughed till their sides hurt. Oh the things children said! Drew's Mom pulled him close for a big hug. Drew, not quite understanding what was funny but delighted with the cheerful mood he had created laughed along with them. The only person who wasn't laughing was Ennis' sister Tammy who was scowling angrily. _

_"Boys don't marry boys!" She hissed._

_"Mom says I can marry whoever I want!" Drew shot back defensively._

_"Not a boy, you have to marry a girl!"_

_"You're just jealous cause I don't wanna marry you."_

_"Eww! I don't want to marry you!"_

_"Now, now children." Mrs. Del Mar said. "Tammy, lower your voice. You're a guest here and you're being rude."_

_"But..."_

_Mrs. Del Mar just gave her a look and Tammy grumbled an apology and stared at the ground._

_"Mom," Drew said, "Can I marry Ennis?"_

_"Oh Honey, you would have to ask Ennis that but you don't have to make that decision for years. You need to be 18 before you can get married and that's in 13 more years. That's an awful long time. Why don't you worry about 5 year old stuff for now."_

_"But what if I want to marry Ennis when I'm 18?"_

_The mothers exchanged a look and had a silent conversation._

_"Why do you want to marry Ennis?" Mrs. Del Mar asked gently._

_"Because," Drew said. "He's my best friend, and we tell each other secrets and we have lots of fun together and I love him."_

_"You can't love a boy," Tammy put in, quieter this time._

_"I can too! And I do love him."_

_"Andrew," Mrs. McGrath said, "Lower your voice."_

_"Why can't I love Ennis, Mommy?" Drew asked miserably. There were tears forming in his eyes and it broke her heart. _

_"Of course you can love Ennis, dear. And I'm sure you'll be best friends forever."_

_"Then why can't I marry him?"_

_"Well, how will you have children if you marry Ennis?"_

_"I... I don't know." Drew was in tears now, his cherry tart completely forgotten. _

_Mrs. Del Mar went to sit next to him and stroked his hair. "Drew, it makes me very happy to hear that you love Ennis. But marriage is a big decision and there are lots of things to think about that you just don't understand right now. Ennis will be your best friend forever, regardless of who you get married to. Look at your mother and me. We're very best friends even though your mom married your daddy and I married Mr. Del Mar."_

_Drew's sniffling slowed a little and he peaked out from his mom's shoulder. "But girls are icky."_

_"Not all of them," said his Mom. "I'm a girl."_

_"But you don't count. You're my mom."_

_"I'm a girl too," said Mrs. Del Mar, "and I made an extra cherry tart, just for you!"_

_"Really?" Drew perked up, tears forgotten. "Maybe I can marry June Johnson, her parents own a bakery!"_

_

* * *

_

Wow, thought Drew. He had completely forgotten about that. That conversation had stuck in his young mind like a thorn. He had considered lots of girls but he had always found himself comparing them to Ennis. He never again mentioned to anyone that he wanted to marry Ennis again but the more they spent time together, the more he was sure that no silly girl could compare to his very best friend in the world! Ennis was Drew's hero. Although he was only a few months older, Ennis was amazing but he never left Drew behind. When Drew was too scared to climb to the highest branch on the big oak tree by the river, Ennis had stayed on one of the lower branches with him until Drew was ready to give it a try. When they went biking with the local boys and Drew lagged behind, Ennis slowed down as well. When Drew lost his grandfather's pocketwatch, Ennis gave up his entire afternoon to help him look for it.

Finishing his tart, Drew came to realize that this wasn't new at all! He had been in love with Ennis his entire life. Thirty years apart had helped him push the feelings aside but Ennis sure wasn't helping any by showing up after all those years, sexy as hell and still as amazing as Drew remembered him. Well, maybe Drew was glorifying him. Just a little. Maybe more than a little. What was he going to do? Ennis wasn't gay. Well, technically Drew wasn't gay either. Bisexual, Mike had called him once. Drew figured he was right but Ennis sure as hell couldn't be. Could he? Loyd had said...

"Oh, what the fuck?" Drew cursed aloud.

He wasn't going to put any weight into what Loyd Burrows thought. What was wrong with him? It was just a dream. A very sexy dream about his very sexy friend but it was just a dream. He's had plenty of sexy dreams about lots of people before. Didn't mean anything would come of it. Right, Drew thought, nothing to worry about then. I'll just carry on as usual and nothing will happen. Unfortunately Drew's mind kept wandering back to said dream so Drew decided to keep himself busy with packing.

* * *

The trip home had gone uneventfully. Drew had caught himself admiring Ennis' backside as he picked up a box and loaded it into the truck but quickly chastized himself and looked away. They had gone to the Chinese restaurant again and Ennis had been in the mood to discover new dishes, as long as he didn't have to drink any more green tea. Drew had brought him to a grocery store run by a chinese family afterwards and they had picked up some soy sauce, black bean paste and other exotic ingredients for making delicious chinese food right at home. Ennis had been suspicious of Drew's cooking skills but figured they couldn't be any worse than his. 

Drew drove most of the way back home and Ennis nodded off in the passenger seat. The farm had not burnt to a crisp while they were gone but Ennis made a poor excuse to go check on things anyway. Abey rolled her eyes but she really did understand. Kyle grilled Drew about their weekend and Drew, in order to get a rise out of him, told him they had started a bar fight and gotten arrested. Kyle eyes went wide and he was about to really tear into Drew when Abey burst into laughter, quickly followed by Drew. Kyle was so easy to wind up! Finally realizing what was going on, Kyle huffed and stomped off to find Ennis.

The farm was running as smoothly as when he left and Ennis made a mental note to stop pestering Abey. She certainly knew what she was doing and he had more respect for her now than he had for... well, pretty much any woman he had ever met. When Kyle arrived grumbling about idiotic McGrath's and tall tales, Ennis had just raised an eyebrow and suggested a horseride. That settled them both. Ennis had missed this. He had only been gone two days but he had really missed the clean smell of the air, the sound of hooves thundering on the ground, the solitude of the open field and the comfort of knowing what to do next. He's been lost in the city and he had enjoyed certain parts of it but he was at home here... Home. He was at home here. He hadn't felt at home anywhere in a long time and that made him smile.

* * *

It was about another month before Drew's house was completed. They hadn't done anything too fancy. It had two bedrooms on the upper floor with an ajoining bathroom and another spare room downstairs that was being used currently as storage. The living room and dining room were joined in one big room and the kitchen was spacious enough to host an island with some barstools. They had built a covered garage that hadn't been there before and put the laundry room in the very back. The door ajoining the garage with the house led to a small mudroom & washroom so they didn't drag dirt into the house. (This had been Abey's idea and they dared not question it.) 

Kyle had gladly helped them move, saying the sooner they were done, the sooner they would be out of his house. Abey had given him a look and Kyle had grinned at her sheepishly. When she had gone into the mudroom to hammer in some hooks for their coats, Drew had ribbed Kyle mercilessly for being whipped. Ennis had rolled his eyes but it had been pretty funny. Kyle and Drew had always been like this. Kyle had thought Drew was a brat and Drew thought Kyle was a know it all showoff. They bickered until Abey called out to ask if they wanted her to come in there. That had shut them both up but Ennis had to excuse himself so he could laugh at their sullen expressions and not get in trouble himself.

* * *

AN: Sorry for the lack of events in this chapter. It stretched longer than I expected and I didn't want to make this one too long. Reviews please! Thank you! 


	7. Sparks and Surprises

AN: Ok, Ennis actually moves on in this chapter, if you know what I mean. DO NOT READ IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE ENNIS WITH SOMEONE ELSE! This one is longer than the other chapters. I tried to keep it consistent but it ran away with me. Reviews please! They keep me writing.

Living with Drew revealed things to Ennis that he would have never expected from his best friend. One morning, having woken up bright and early as usual, he came downstairs to find his usually late rising friend facing the large window in the living room as the sun came up. Clad in only a pair of low slung green plaid pyjama pants, Drew stretched his arms out and slowly stepped forward with one knee bent and the other stretched straight behind him. In this pose he stayed breathing slowly and steadily, the muscles on him arms and back rippled and defined. Nice, thought Ennis and was immediately startled at himself. Drew continued with his morning stretches, he bent forward and grasped his ankles giving Ennis a very nice view of his very nice behind. Ennis wondered what other positions Drew could bend into. Shaking his head clear, he realized that he should probably stop watching. He headed towards the kitchen to get a cup of coffee.

Drew, who had been quite aware of Ennis' watchful gaze, smiled to himself. His back had been sore from all the hard work he'd done on the farm the day before and he had decided that he would now wake up early and do a little yoga to loosen himself up. He hadn't meant for Ennis to see him but when he had bent over for the last pose, he had caught a glimpse of Ennis looking directly at his butt and saw Ennis' flustered face. There's a way to get a fella's attention, Drew thought. He gave himself a few more minutes before following Ennis into the kitchen.

"Morning." Drew greeted.

"You're up early." Ennis said, avoiding looking directly at Drew.

"Yeah, I thought I might do a little yoga. You know, to avoid stiff muscles."

"What?"

"Yoga."

Ennis just gave him a queer look. (AN: Heehee, I said queer.)

"Yo-ga."

"You can say it as many times as you want, moron, I still won't know what the hell you're talking about."

"Yoga is an ancient practice consisting of physical and respiratory exercises that helps to realign your chi."

Ennis blinked then shook his head. "Pansy."

Drew laughed heartily. "I can show you how to do it sometime."

"No thanks. I'm used to real work."

* * *

Seeing Drew do Yoga turned out to be the tiny crack in the wall that broke the dam. Ennis began to notice more and more things about Drew that he appreciated. Drew certainly was not hard on the eyes but Ennis began to notice even the small things. Drew's humour began to make Ennis laugh more and more, his clumsiness was quirky and somehow endearing, the way Drew teased and taunted Kyle, the fact that he actually knew how to cook, well! Drew was in general an easy person to get along with. He was so carefree and playful in his manner, almost like a part of him had never grown up. It was hard not to be happy around Drew. And there it was. For the first time in a long time, Ennis could say two things he thought he could never say to himself. He was home and he was happy. 

He thought of Jack less these days, and he thought that it should have made him more sad. Remembering Mrs. McGrath helped him come to realize that now, even with fewer thoughts of Jack, all thoughts of him were good thoughts. He only remembered the best times now and it made him smile. Jack would have loved it here. He would have gotten along well with Drew and Abey and probably even Kyle. He tried not to think about what would have happened had he done things differently. That only lead to sad thoughts and lonely times and Jack's memory deserved better than that.

Not quite sure just what to do about Drew, or even exactly what he wanted from Drew, Ennis found himself getting into the habit of picking fights. He would tackle and unsuspecting Drew just for the chance to touch him, subtlely and in a very manly way of course. Drew, in an attempt to redeem himself tried his very hardest to catch Ennis off his guard but was always pinned and forced to admit defeat. They began to almost flirt with each other, when it came to household chores. While Drew cooked, he would call Ennis in to give him a hand, then pat him on the bum or make kissy faces at him to say thank you. Ennis would always grumble but he never told Drew to stop.

* * *

One evening, at the Del Mar home, Abey was helping Kyle sort through the paperwork for the annual officer evaluations. 

"Kyle, this package is for Ennis. What is it doing here?" Abey said pulling it out from beneath a pile of paperwork.

"Oh that. I... Uh... forgot to give it to him?"

"Were you hiding it? Who is Lauren Twist?"

"Jack's mom."

"Who?"

"The lady who called the weekend Drew and Ennis went to the city."

"You've kept it from him this long?"

"I didn't keep it from him. I just forgot."

Abey gave Kyle a look. "Tell me."

Kyle sighed.

"After Linda and I got married, she wanted to kick Ennis out. I didn't want to but she said she would get him a job with her Dad's friend, Aguire. So, Ennis went. Spent the summer up in Signal, worked, got married later that year, blah, blah, blah..."

"So?" Abey said, pressing but patient.

"About a year later, I meet Aguire at a BBQ. He pulls me aside and tells me my brother's boyfriend came by looking for him. I nearly punched him in the face but then he tells me how Ennis hearded sheep with a guy named Jack Twist. That he wasn't making anything up and he saw it with his own eyes. Ennis and this guy Jack were... you know."

Abey nodded.

"I told him if he ever told anyone, that I would come after him and make him pray he had never been born. Well after that, I never heard the name Jack Twist again. Ennis was married and Alma was expecting so I figured whatever Ennis did with Jack was done. Then Lauren Twist calls, looking for Ennis. I didn't even make the connection. I just gave her the address. Once I got the package and saw the name Twist written on the top corner, I finally put two and two together."

"Kyle, Ennis isn't a teenager trying to fend for himself anymore."

"I know. I just... I just don't want to see him dead in a ditch."

"It's just a package. I thought she said that Jack passed away."

"Yeah. Last year."

"So what harm can a package do now?"

Kyle sighed. "None I guess. Alright, I'll give it to him tomorrow."

Abey gave him another look.

Kyle groaned but got to his feet. "Fine, I'll give it to him now." Taking the package, he headed towards the door. "Dictator," He grumbled when he thought he was out of ear shot.

"I heard that!"

"I said I love you!"

"I love you too."

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the new McGrath home, Ennis and Drew were wrestling for the remote in the living room. Pinned, helplessly beneath Ennis, Drew decided that he would try some alternate tactics to outwit Ennis tonight. Squirming around until he had maneuvered himself into position, Drew pressed his pelvis into Ennis' and rolled his hips. Ennis stilled, his eyes growing wide but he didn't pull away. Not willing to let this opportunity slip, Drew rolled over, dropping Ennis onto the ground between the coffee table and the sofa and falling atop of him.

"I win!" Drew chanted happily.

"Win what?" Ennis asked, knowing Drew had forgotten all about the remote.

"Whatever we were wrestling for."

"Which was?"

"Doesn't matter, I won. I get to choose my prize!"

"Oh yeah? What's that?"

"Kiss me."

Ennis laughed and shoved at Drew before noticing that Drew was not kidding. Drew looked very serious and he was dangerously close to Ennis' lips. But Ennis had wanted this, right? Regardless, Ennis panicked and pushed Drew off of him. He sat up and fished the remote out from between the cushions.

"It's not like it'll be the first time," Drew said, sitting next to Ennis, unable to let this one go.

"What?" Ennis tried to sound distracted by what was on TV. Damn infomercials!

"You don't remember?"

"Remember what?" Ennis said trying to move away from Drew.

"Who was your first kiss ever?"

"Nancy James, sixth grade." Ennis responded immediately.

"Wrong. Further back."

"What?"

"We were sitting by the lake & you had told me that you saw KE kissing a girl behind the ice cream shop the day before. I asked you if you had ever kissed a girl..."

* * *

_"No," an 8 year old Ennis said sticking out his tongue in distaste. "Have you?"_

_"Sure."_

_"Liar."_

_"It's true, I have!"_

_"Who? When?"_

_"You don't know em. They're girls from school and they don't live around here."_

_"I still think you're lying."_

_"I'll show you."_

_"Show me what?"_

_"That I know how to kiss."_

_"How you gonna do that?"_

_Drew leaned forward and pressed his lips to Ennis'. Ennis froze and his eyes grew wide. Drew pulled back and smirked at him._

_"It's pretty damn obvious you ain't kissed no one before. You suck."_

_"I do not!" Ennis cried indignantly. "I was just surprised is all. Do that again, I'll show you I can do it."_

_Drew leaned in again and Ennis met him halfway. Eager to prove himself, Ennis was all over the place and Drew pulled back laughing. _

_"Drool all over me why dontcha? Slow down."_

_Ennis frowned, grabbed Drew's shirt and yanked him forward. They kissed slowly this time, tender little kisses and warm breaths. Drew's lips parted and Ennis felt his tongue brush his lips. He opened his mouth a little...

* * *

_

"And that's when KE came by and yanked us apart," Drew smirked. "Told us we was lucky your dad hadn't caught us or he woulda killed us both."

"He would have too. KE threatened not to let me play with you for the rest of the summer if I didn't promise never to do that again."

"That you remember," Drew said with a tinge of sarcasm.

"I remember. I still think you were lying."

"So what if I was?"

"I wouldn't a thought less of ya."

"Maybe I just wanted to kiss you."

"You wanted to kiss me? All the way back then?"

"Maybe."

"Yeah? How about right now?" Ennis cupped Drew's face and kissed him deeply, tenderly.

As Drew melted into his embrace, Ennis knew that this was what he wanted. He and Drew were good as friends but they were better at... well, whatever this was. The anticipation to this moment had been so long, so turbulent for them both that neither man felt the need to take this slow. Their clothes came off between kisses. Drew turned out to be even more teasing and playful a lover than he usually was as just Drew the friend. Ennis, having not gotten laid in over a year, was eager to get on with it but Drew wanted to make this last. He brushed off Ennis' efforts and distracted him with wet kisses and small nibbles. Only letting himself get distracted a few times, Ennis finally lost patience and pushed Drew onto his back, blanketing him with his own body. Neither heard the door open.

"Aughhh!" Kyle shuddered. "I know I said I wanted us to be closer but that was more of you than I ever wanted to see of you, little brother."

"Kyle, we..."

"Yeah, I saw. I don't need details."

"That's pretty gross, man," Drew said trying to lighten the mood. "Who spies on their brother gettin' it on?"

"Will you put some damn clothes on?" Kyle snapped. With his eyes tightly shut he put the package down on the side table and faced the door.

"Fine, fine. You could knocked, ya know." Drew picked up his clothes and left them alone to talk.

Ennis was in a panic. Once Drew was up the stairs and he had pulled his shirt over his head, he began to pace. How was he going to explain this to Kyle? Damnit, he knew he should have been more careful. He shouldn't have fuckin got involved with Drew! That's what he shouldn't have done. Damn him! He'd have to leave now. And quickly! Toss his shit together, jump into his truck and drive as far as he could...

"You dressed yet?" Kyle said from the door.

"Yeah," Ennis answered, trying to string together an explaination, an apology, anything so that Kyle would pretend he had never seen what he had and let Ennis leave in peace.

Kyle turned around. "Where did the idiot go?"

"Up."

"So," Kyle said sitting on the sofa. "You and him, huh?"

"Kyle, I... I'll be gone by morning. Just don't say anything to anyone."

"Gone? Where? What for... You think I'm gonna kick you out?"

Ennis didn't say anything. Just stood awkwardly, wishing like hell he had a cigarette. Drew wouldn't let him smoke in the house. Intuitively, Kyle headed out onto the porch motioning for Ennis to follow. Not daring to question the man who could very well decide his fate, Ennis went out after him. Kyle lit up a cigarette and took a long puff. He handed it over to Ennis, who took it gladly. Kyle noticed that the drag didn't do anything to calm the shaking of Ennis' hands.

"You and Drew are a good pair. Even if he is a pain in the ass."

Ennis hung his head and waited. Taking another long puff, Kyle looked out at the stars and was quiet for a long time.

"You remember Earl, Ennis?"

"Yeah," Ennis answered stiffly, his stomach tight with panic. If he left now he'd have to take Drew with him. Who knows what might happen to Drew if he stayed here alone. He couldn't... wouldn't make that mistake twice...

"I had nightmares about him for years. I was so angry. At him for letting anyone find out, not being more careful. At those assholes who did that to him, at Dad for showing it to us. I remember feeling so damn helpless. I was angry, scared, confused and I couldn't do a damn thing about it. Earl's the reason I became a cop." Kyle looked over at Ennis and he looked like he was holding his breath. "I didn't take care of you after I married Linda. I shoulda. I know that but I can't change that now. But if you and Drew are happy, and this is what you want... I can't say I understand it, especially with Drew, but if you're happy, I will make sure that no one in this town ever gives you any shit. They even look at you strange and I will bust them down. As long as I have breath in me, I will protect you."

Ennis stared at his brother for a long time. It was like he was meeting him again for the very first time. Who was this man? What happened to the cold, shut off man that had kicked him out with a paper bag filled with his meager posessions in his teens to fend for himself? Kyle had lived his entire life around the same kind of cold, hard people as Ennis had. Abey had softened him but had made him fiercer. There was a strength in him that Ennis didn't recognize.

Realizing he probably wouldn't get an answer, Kyle gave Ennis a comforting pat on the shoulder and headed down the steps towards his car. He had made it halfway there when he heard Ennis call his name. Turning, he found Ennis was no longer on the porch but right behind him. Ennis' arms jerked slightly. Kyle understood and put his arms around Ennis' shoulders in a brotherly hug. Ennis returned the hug, unable to get any more words out. He patted Kyle's back in his best attempt at a thank you. Kyle understood and returned the pat. After a minute, they let go and Kyle got in his car and started the engine. As he was about to drive off, he rolled down his window.

"Oh yeah, I brought you a package. It's on the table next to the door."

Ennis nodded and waved as he watched his brother drive down the dirt road. Well that sure as hell wasn't what he had been expecting. He looked down at his arm and pinched himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming. He wasn't. He knew Kyle had been sincere and Ennis believed him. He would protect them and Kyle was in a position to do it.

Heading back inside, still lost in thought, Ennis paid no attention to the package on the side table by the door. He headed upstairs to his room. He really needed to lie down. Pushing his bedroom door open, he found Drew resting on his bed, the blanket around his bare waist and his back cushioned with fluffy pillow. He was reading a book and smiled at Ennis as he came in. Without a word, Ennis pulled off his clothes.

"So," Drew inquired, no longer able to stand the suspense. "What did he say?"

"That we have his protection."

"Awesome! This is like the Godfather!"

Ennis rolled his eyes. "That mouth of yours ever shut up?"

"Maybe," Drew smiled cheekily. "Wanna find out what else it can do?"

Ennis smirked as he slid in between the sheets with Drew. "Maybe."

* * *

AN: OK! So do you guys want the explicit version? I assume you can imagine what will happen next. I do plan on letting you all know certain aspects of their love life but I could actually tell you what happens if you'd like. Was Ennis and Drew's coming together ok? Not too OOC? Sorry to everyone who is dying to find out what is in the package but I really want Ennis to feel comfortable in his new life. You'll understand when all is revealed. 


	8. Our First Time

AN: This is the explicit version. It can be skipped, there is some dialogue but the story can be read without it. Truth be told it really isn't all that explicit. I don't know how to make sex all that exciting on paper or screen. Sorry to disappoint, I tried but I seemed to have exhausted all my imagination with Drew's dream and everything I tried to write this time was repetitive.

* * *

Drew began with a soft wet kiss to Ennis' lips. He felt Ennis sigh and lean back onto his pillow. Drew could tell he was still preoccupied with thoughts of what had happened that evening. Trailing his kisses down Ennis' jaw to his neck, Drew wanted to help Ennis forget. He licked a long wet trail along Ennis' neck and blew cool air over it. Ennis shivered a little but he was staring blankly at the far wall. Drew looked in the direction Ennis was looking and saw nothing. He sat up in Ennis' line of sight. 

"Ok, what are you thinking?"

Ennis chuckled a little. "Figures you would want to talk at a time like this."

"Hey," Drew said, "I have waited a long, long time for this moment. I will not have you distracted with thoughts of your brother. That's just gross, man."

Ennis just rolled his eyes.

"You were pretty freaked out when I left," Drew pushed gently. "You're not planning on bolting on me are you?"

"Thought of it. Was already making a list of stuff we'd need to take with us in my head, trying to figure out how far we could get, where we should go, how much money I have in my account..." Ennis noticed Drew was grinning like an idiot. "What?"

"Nothing. Carry on."

"Stop that, then."

Drew pressed his lips together in an attempt to stop smiling. He made a few grimaces and tried biting on his tongue, his lips, his cheeks. It didn't work.

"For fuck's sake, " Ennis growled, "just tell me!"

"You said we."

"Yeah, so?"

"So you were gonna take me with you."

"I wasn't gonna leave you here to get your ass kicked."

Drew tried the lip pressing thing again and failed miserably.

"What now?"

"Nothing," Drew said.

"Spit it out!"

Drew grinned for another minute before bursting, "Aww! Ennis, you're my hero!" He bounced forward and covered Ennis is kisses.

Being smothered by Drew's smooth naked body was not an unpleasant experience. Being slobbered on with kisses however was not so nice. Wrestling Drew half-heartedly, Ennis grumbled a sting of curses but he was laughing as well. "Dumbass."

As his giggling fit finally began to calm down, Drew lay down on his side and looked at Ennis. "So seriously, he's ok with us."

"Yeah, I think he is. That ain't the problem though. Half the fucking town could be ok with it but it only takes one ignorant fuck to take a tire iron to our heads and leave us lying in a ditch. I think Kyle knows that. He saw Earl too. I think that's why he wants to protect us."

"Who's Earl?"

"I'll tell you another time." Ennis said and Drew knew better than to press him for more. Ennis could clearly see the disappointment in Drew's face so he tried to lighten the mood. "Said I could do better though."

"Better than what?'

"You."

"He did, did he? Asshole." Drew scowled momentarily at the thought of Kyle then turned his full attention and his brightest, sexiest smile on Ennis. "It's a good thing you know better, isn't it?"

Ennis just laughed and pulled him close. Drew's kisses lingered and tasted as if they were savouring every second, commiting every touch to memory. Drew's mouth was clever and playful, biting every now and again. His tongue darted around quick and strong, caressing and teasing, exploring every cavern and recess it could reach. Ennis found himself smiling into the kiss. Somewhat regretfully, he pulled back.

"Weren't you gonna show me what else your mouth could do?" Ennis said lustfully, his thumb tracing Drew's bottom lip.

Drew smiled and silently made his way to Ennis' nipples. Truth be told, Ennis wasn't quite sure how to take it with Drew. Jack had been accustomed to his lack of finesse. Ennis had established the pace of their love life the very first time. It had been almost brutal, Ennis remembered. He also remembered the guilt that washed through him every time he thought of that first night. So he would take things slower with Drew. Who knows if Drew had ever even done this before. Or if he even wanted to be on the bottom. Shit, what if he wanted to be on top? Ok, maybe he should be a little rough. Not much but... Oh!

Ennis' mind went blank. As he had been debating the best course of action in his head, Drew had made his way down Ennis' stomach and between his legs. Ennis was now wrapped in exquisite liquid heat. Drew's tongue had been clever in his mouth but now... Oh wow, Ennis thought. He'd done this with Jack a handfull of times but he was positive that he wasn't nearly as good as this. Where the hell had Drew learned to do this? With whom was a better question... That thought, for some reason, made him a little sad.

"Drew?"

Drew hummed his acknowledgement around Ennis' erection but made no effort to stop.

The vibrations of Drew humming made Ennis pause for a moment. "You done this before?"

Drew hummed another sound that meant yes, he had.

"Oh..." Ennis said, disappointed somehow and unable to keep it out of his voice. It was ridiculous, he knew. He had certainly been with another man before but he couldn't help it. He was jealous by nature, the thought of someone else's hands on Drew and Drew liking it... well, it just made him...

"So have you." Drew said plainly still hovering over Ennis' erection.

"How would you know?" Ennis said, defensive and ready to close up and bolt if necessary.

"You'd be freaking out right now if you hadn't." Drew said distractedly, he was placing kisses and licks along Ennis' length between words.

Well, that was probably true. He had been pretty freaked the first time. Drew's mouth slid down Ennis' erection once again and Ennis forgot all his worries. Damn, Drew was good at that. Fuck, he was getting close. He pulled Drew off of him with a bit of effort. Drew made a small sound of disappointment when was pulled off. Ennis lay him down on his stomach and straddled his thighs.

"Well, this I haven't done before." Drew grinned into the pillow.

"What?" Ennis asked.

"Been on the bottom."

"I ain't gonna be bottom."

"I know," Drew said. "I've been saving this just for you." He pushed his bum up and wiggled it at Ennis.

Drew had said it in a joking manner but it had been true. He had never bottomed before and he hadn't quite known why. He wasn't afraid of it but he had never felt the desire to bottom. Until now. With Ennis, that's all he wanted. He couldn't explain it but for the first time in his life he was anxious and excited and so turned on by the thought of Ennis being inside of him. Just like his dream, he wanted Ennis so badly.

Ennis had rolled his eyes at Drew's comment. He had fished out the lube from the nightstand and slicked himself up. Using the remaining lube on his fingers tried to push two fingers into Drew. Drew stifffened momentarily then with a shaky breath he relaxed. Ennis decided that maybe one finger would be best to start with, who knew how long it had been for Drew anyway. As he pushed the digit in gently, he saw that Drew was holding his breath and shaking slightly. Drew's hole was so tight around his solitary finger. Well, fuck me, Ennis thought. Drew really hadn't done this before. Pulling his finger out, Ennis added some more lube and worked Drew's entrance gently. Leaning down, he placed soft kisses between Drew's shoulderblades and Drew relaxed some more.

"That feels really nice." Drew said.

"Liar."

"Fine, it's a little wierd but it'll get better. Right?"

Ennis made a sound that sounded affirmative. _Damn,_ Ennis thought, _you're so tight, Drew. So tight, so warm and so, so good._ Ennis thought that maybe Drew would feel better if he knew what Ennis was thinking but it sounded lame even in Ennis' head so he decided to keep quiet. He probably would have tripped over the words and made an ass out of himself. Drew made a pleading sound from beneath him. That was enough preparation. He pulled Drew's hips up a little and rubbed the head of his erection against Drew's entrance. Letting the moment linger just a little while longer, he pushed the tip of his penis in past the tight ring of muscle. It took all the control he possessed but Ennis managed to push into Drew's body at an agonizingly slow pace. Drew's body gripped him, sheathed him in exquisite heat. Ennis couldn't remember anything being so tight. He wondered if Jack had felt like this that first night but he couldn't remember. It was too long ago, his mind had been to hazy with lust and alcohol & he hadn't had the patience to savour the moment on that night.

He nipped at Drew's shoulder. "You ok?"

"Fuck yeah," Drew gasped. He had been holding his breath during the penetration but with Ennis burried completely inside of him, Drew couldn't wait for more. "Move," he managed to choke out. Not his most eloquent moment but it got the job done.

Ennis pulled out then cautiously pushed back in. It was taking all the strength he had to fight the urge to ram into Drew's tight body, to pound into him until he screamed but he didn't want to rush this moment. You only ever got one first time and although he wasn't quite sure where he and Drew were headed, he wanted to make their first night a good night. He established a leisurely pace, letting Drew adjust to him. It wasn't long before Drew began to push back, pleas muffled by the pillow he was still biting on. Ennis didn't need to be asked twice. A gradual increase of pace and a few minutes later Drew let go of the pillow, a long strangled scream escaping him as he shuddered with release. His body squeezed even tighter and Ennis followed just moments later.

* * *

It had been a long time for either man so their quick release did not come as much of a surprise. Lying on their backs staring at the ceiling, Drew wondered if Ennis would go all cliche and pull out a cigarette. Draping himself over Ennis' chest, Drew did something that one of his girlfriends had done a long long time ago.

"Chocolate or caramel?"

"What?" Ennis looked at him like he had gone mad.

"Which do you prefer?"

"I don't know."

"Which would you prefer to have drizzled on your so that I could lick it off?"

"What the hell do I care, you'll be eating it."

"Answer the damn question."

"Ain't much for sweets."

"Fine!" Drew pouted but recovered quickly. "Blowjobs or handjobs?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"Well?"

"Blowjobs, you don't even have to ask. What's with all the questions?"

"It's a pillow game. My old girlfriend used to do this, said it helped us get to know each other. Wanna try?"

Ennis thought about it for a moment but couldn't think of anything.

"Ok, you think," Drew started again. He was never one for patience. "Cigarettes and alcohol or sex with me?"

"Fishing for compliments?"

"Fine, sex in the shower or sex against the kitchen counter?"

Ennis smiled, "I think we should try both."

"Good answer," Drew said and he rewarded Ennis with a kiss.

Pillow games would turn out to be a regular occurance after sex, when they were lying in bed and sleep hadn't quite lulled them yet. Ennis had been surprised to find that he liked Drew's pillow games. There were many and some he liked more than others but Drew always rewarded him with kisses and who could be unhappy with that?

* * *

AN: Ok, everyone calm down! I have not forgotten about the package. It will be opened, I promise you. It will also have a significant impact on the people in this story so I cannot have it opened yet. Ennis is not ignoring it. He doesn't even know who it is from.


	9. Pillow Games

AN: This version is also somewhat explicit. I just couldn't stay away from it, sorry. This chapter is integral to the plot however. But if you're reading this story about two gay men, what can you really expect?  
WARNING: Ennis moves on in this fic!!!

* * *

For most people, walking in on a pair of lovers once would be enough to learn a lesson. Kyle however, thick and stubborn, did not take heed from that first night. It took two more occasions for him to finally get the point. One morning he walked into the McGrath kitchen to find Drew braced against the counter, the kitchen tap running over the semi washed dishes, his legs wrapped around Ennis' waist as Ennis pounded into him. The sounds Drew had been making could be heard from just beyond the window and Kyle had rushed in worried someone was in trouble. Fortunately, Ennis and Drew were far too involved in each other to notice Kyle silently gag and run back out in a hurry.

A few days later, Kyle was feeling pretty useless when it came to babies. Abey had chased him from the nursery when he had attempted to cut corners in order to build the crib faster. How much more safety could a few screws really offer? Looking in the fridge for a much needed refreshment he found to his dismay that he was out of beer. He could drive in to town but it was so damn far and he was feeling lazy. Ennis probably had beer. Within 5 minutes, he was pulling up to the McGrath home. He peeked in through the kitchen window and all was clear. With a great sigh of relief, he let himself in and found a cold bottle of lager in the fridge. Slapping the top off on the corner of the counter, he headed into the living room where he could hear the sound of the baseball game playing on the television. He couldn't see Drew or Ennis though so he figured they were probably upstairs doing… He really didn't want to think of what they were doing. He approached the sofa and was about to hop over and take a seat when he realized that Ennis and Drew were lying on the sofa, in opposite directions, clothing absent, each getting a mouthful.

"What the hell," Kyle burst. "Can't you two keep your bloody hands off of each other? Leave you two alone for five damn minutes and you go at it like rabbits."

"I always knew you were a twisted fucker," Drew said with a cheeky smile. "Just couldn't get enough the first time could you?"

"Will you put on some damn pants?"

"But if I did that then you'd have no reason to stick around."

"Keep dreaming, McGrath!"

Drew teased Kyle for being a pervert and Kyle growled at him for being a moron. Ennis, red faced and embarrassed as hell, pulled on his clothes and wasn't able to look Kyle in the eye the rest of the evening. Kyle finally learned that knocking was imperative when he went over to see Ennis. Drew and Ennis learned that they really needed to lock the door. This became even more important when Rob, one of the ranch hands, came in to use the washroom while Drew and Ennis were "making a sandwich/fixing the refrigerator." (It depended on who you asked.) Rob had shrugged and gone back out to continue his work.

"We gotta be more careful," Ennis had said afterwards.

"We?" Drew said. "I was innocently minding my own business when you came in and pounced on me."

"Oh, that was all me then?"

"You're going to have to figure out a way to keep your hands off of me." Drew said and pressed his lips together hard. He tried to look natural and smoothed out his clothing with his hands.

"You were on your damn knees," Ennis said incredulously. He couldn't see Drew's face and hadn't gotten the joke.

"You dropped your wrench." Drew said innocently.

"You dropped your jaw!"

Drew threw his head back in laughter. "Touché! You're getting really good at this."

Ennis just rolled his eyes. "We keep it in the bedroom."

"Fuck that," Drew said. "We are not going to hide in our own house! I can understand not doing it in the barn anymore but this is our house! I love it when you fuck me against the counter, or on the sofa or in the shower or…"

"Drew," Ennis warned.

"Fine, I will agree to that as long as you agree not to look so damn sexy doing all that farm work."

"You must have hit your head, boy."

"Those are the conditions Ennis. You can't get all sweaty and take off your shirt and cool down by splashing water all over yourself."

"All the guys do that!"

"None of them make me want to drop my jaw the way you do." Drew smirked and slid up to Ennis, pressing their bodies tight.

"Stop that." Ennis mumbled. "We need to get back to work."

"Make me." Drew smiled and kissed him.

The farm hands had to work without their foreman's for awhile after that. No one complained however. They were a well oiled machine. Ennis' grandfather had always taught him to hire at least one more person than you needed if you could afford it. Made the job easier for everyone and gave you flexibility in case anyone couldn't come in. Ennis had hired 2 extra hands.

The first few weeks of their relationship were like a whirlwind of passion. Neither man could get enough. Kyle had been right, they couldn't be left alone for five minutes without needing to touch each other. Baseball games were frequently ignored, dishes and laundry piled up, too many meals were charred and nice warm showers ran cold.

* * *

"Ready for our game?" Drew said one evening.

"Don't we usually save that until after the sex?" Ennis asked, climbing into bed.

"Not tonight."

Ennis raised an eyebrow. "What makes you think I'll play then?"

Drew picked up his hat, which he had left on the side of the bed and gave it a shake. "Because, I have here a hatful of ideas of ways to reward you should you get my questions right."

Ennis looked intrigued and reached for the hat. Drew held it out to him and reminded him that he could only take one at a time. Unfolding the little sheet he read "blowjob. Not very original."

"Are you complaining already?"

"Yes," Ennis smiled. "Now give me my blowjob."

"That wasn't the question."

"That was a question and I answered right."

Drew rolled his eyes. "What is my favourite food?"

"Fuck, Drew, I don't know."

"It hasn't changed since I was little."

"You ate everything when you were little, like a damn vacuum."

"Come on, you must know this. It's something sweet."

* * *

_The Del Mars had not been able to make it down for the weekend of Drew's birthday and Drew had written to Ennis to tell him how lousy the day had been. His relatives had come down and it had been a family party. His grandmother had sneered at his mother's cooking and taken over. Instead of all of Drew's favourites, she had made healthy foods and carrot cake! Yuck! His mother had been upset the entire weekend, his father had stayed out in the barn and avoided his family like the plague and Drew's poor cheeks had been pinched and kissed so many times he was sure there would be bruises. His cousins had picked on him the entire weekend and made him eat dirt. He had only gotten clothes as presents and the only toy he did get, a shiny new race car, his cousins had broken and lost 2 of the wheels even before he got to play with it._

_When the Del Mars finally arrived, Drew rode his bike over so he could play with Ennis but was told Ennis had gone down to the tree house by the river to play. Feeling a little sad and left out, Drew made his way to the tree house slowly and called out to Ennis. No one answered him so he climbed up the rope ladder morosely. One he got to the top, he was so surprised he nearly fell out of the tree. Luckily Ennis caught him and pulled him in. Ennis had decorated the tree house with cut-out paper balloons and the garlands his grandmother usually put on the Christmas tree. On the little crates that made makeshift tables were two plates of burgers and fries and a little lopsided chocolate cake that Ennis had made and decorated all by himself (sort of.) Next to the cake were a few small ill wrapped presents. Drew hugged Ennis so hard that Ennis began to choke for breath._

"_You are the bestest best friend in the whole wide world!!!"  
_

"_Mom helped," Ennis explained shyly. "A lot."_

"_Can we eat now?" Drew said excitedly._

_They ate their burgers and fries and Ennis pulled out a little plastic knife to cut the cake. His mom had not wanted him to have matches in the tree house so there was no candle to blow out. Ennis told Drew he should make a wish anyway. Drew did and blew out an imaginary candle as Ennis clapped for him. Drew wanted to open his presents before they ate cake so Ennis handed him the 3 wrapped parcels. The first was a second hand comic book that Ennis had bought at a church rummage sale for a nickel, the second a bar of Hershey's milk chocolate and the last a small widdled horse. Ennis had asked his father to teach him to widdle and this little horse had been the best of Ennis' attempts. He had painted it brown and glued some yarn to make a mane and tail for it. Drew hugged Ennis and told him it was the best birthday ever. When they ate the cake, Drew corrected himself and said that now it was the best birthday ever.

* * *

_

"Chocolate cake." Ennis said.

"Good job, Ennis!" Drew said, his eyes lighting up. "You get a kiss too."

"What's mine?" Ennis asked while Drew rewarded him.

"Roasted elk." Drew said without missing a beat.

Ennis was caught completely off guard. "How do you know that?"

"You had this goofy far off smile when Rob brought us some from his last hunting trip."

"Oh." Roasted elk, Ennis thought and it reminded him of Brokeback and his time with Jack. Drew cleared his throat and caught Ennis' attention.

"Hey, I got that right, you need to reward me too."

As they repositioned themselves to reward each other simultaneously, Drew pulled another sheet of paper out of his hat. "Anilingus."

"What?" Ennis said, arching his head so he could read the little sheet himself.

"I hope you get this next one right," Drew said. "What was I doing before I moved back out here? As a career. Take a minute to think about that." Drew opened his mouth wide and took Ennis deep inside of him.

Fuck, Ennis thought. As if he could think while Drew was doing that. He suckled on the head of Drew's erection then slowly slid down. Think, Ennis, think. What had Drew wanted to be when he grew up? That was no help, he had changed his mind every week. Had Drew ever even told him what he'd been doing? No, just that he was between jobs at the time. Pulling away, Ennis licked his lips before speaking.

"Drew, you never told me."

"Aww," Drew pouted. He tossed the little sheet off the bed. "I was really looking forward to that."

Sitting up, they faced each other.

"Can't punish me for not knowing something you never told me."

"Can't reward you either."

"Ask me something else."

"Hmm…" Drew thought, "Did you ever miss me, after your family stopped coming to Hudson for the summer?"

Ennis groaned.

"Come on, Ennis. Tell me. I just want the truth. It's ok if you didn't."

"Why do you care now?"

"I wrote to you after that summer. You never wrote back. I thought you were mad and you hated me or something. I didn't know what to think."

"Yeah," Ennis conceded. "I missed you."

"So how come you didn't write back?"

"Hey, one question at a time. Now where's my an.. ani.. whatever you said before."

Drew let it go for the time being. He had Ennis lay down on his stomach and kissed him on the shoulder blades.

"You're not fucking me." Ennis said.

"Aww, Ennis, you're so romantic," Drew teased. He licked his way down Ennis' spine, blowing cool air over the wet trails every now and again. As he approached Ennis' bum, Ennis stiffened but Drew made no attempt to stop.

"Drew," Ennis began.

"Shh..." Drew soothed gently. "I'll make this good for you. I promise."

He slid lower and his tongue traced a wet line between Ennis' cheeks. He placed a tender kiss on each cheek then hovered over Ennis' entrance. Ennis could feel Drew's hot breath on him and he was beginning to panic.

"Drew, what are you…"

But Drew didn't answer him, just painted a small wet circle around Ennis' anus. Ennis tried to squirm out of his grip but Drew held his hips tight. Soon he licked at it, making Ennis shudder. Drew continued bathing Ennis' hole with his tongue, occasionally pausing to give it a quick kiss or blow cool air over it. Ennis was grunting and twisting beneath him. Soon Ennis' eyes went wide as Drew's tongue pushed into him. It retreated just as quickly as it had darted in but then it was back again. Back and forth he could feel Drew's tongue breaching him quickly then it slowed and lingered and pushed in deeper.

"Drew," Ennis gasped. "Drew," he said louder. "Drew, stop!"

Drew pulled away reluctantly. His shoulders slumped as he sat up. Ennis pulled himself up as well but was facing away from his and trying hard to catch his breath.

"You didn't like it." Drew said disappointed. "I'm sorry. It was supposed…"

Ennis turned suddenly and pounced him.

"Idiot," Ennis said and he was smiling. "I told you to stop cause I need to fuck you. Now!"

"But you haven't pulled that sheet out of the hat yet." Drew said innocently.

"Later," Ennis said hungrily. "I'll play all the damn games you want later but right now, I need to fuck you."

Drew thought about it for a few moments. "Okay," he grinned cheerfully.


	10. A Little History

AN: God, this story has such a hold on me. Italics are flashbacks. Review please!

* * *

Ennis had had the very worst day. He had mended the fences to the cow pasture this morning and he had thought he had done a pretty good job of it. Unfortunately, the cows did not and Ennis spotted a few of them grazing far from the pasture sometime in the early afternoon. He had rounded them up again and fixed the fence again. He rode all the way around the pasture to make sure every foot of the fence was nice and sturdy. When he was satisfied, he recounted the cows. One was missing. Shaking his head, he called the dogs and set out in search of the lost beast. He found her after some time eating some of the hay he had just baled. He brought her back just in time for milking.

On his way back to the stables, one of the dogs came across a rattlesnake and howled angrily. This spooked his horse and sent her dashing off in the opposite direction. When Ennis finally managed to run her down, his dog came trotting back, with his tail wagging and the dead snake between his teeth. By the time he got to the stables, one of the ranch hands informed him that some of the cows had sour milk. They had been set aside but they would need to see a vet.

When it was time to call it a day, Ennis was exhausted. His head hurt, his muscles were sore and his stomach was rumbling. He wanted a shower, a good meal and most of all, he wanted Drew. If he made a bit of a scene of how tired he was, Ennis knew Drew would offer him a backrub. Drew was great at backrubs. Ennis liked lying on his stomach, with Drew sitting on his bum so he could really work out the kinks. There was something nice about having that kind of attention.

As he walked into the house, he could smell something cooking and Drew humming in the kitchen.

"Dinner will be ready in about 15 minutes," Drew called out. "You can go take a shower if you want."

Ennis grunted an okay and headed upstairs. His legs seemed to drag behind him. He pulled his clothes off and dropped them in a trail towards the shower. He turned the water on, nice and warm and stood beneath the spray just enjoying the water pressure on his back. He closed his eyes and tried to let the tension slip away. He didn't know how long he'd been standing there when he felt Drew's body press up behind him.

Drew wrapped his arms around Ennis' waist and kissed his shoulder. "You're so tense."

Ennis nodded.

"Have you even soaped up yet?"

Ennis shook his head.

Drew smiled and picked up the soap. He washed Ennis all over, lathering and massaging, placing soft kisses to the newly clean skin. Ennis made a weak attempt to return the favour but Drew informed him that he had already showered.

"Come on," Drew said, tossing Ennis a towel. "Dinner is just cooling downstairs. Hurry or it'll get cold."

Drew towel off quickly and pulled on his pyjama bottoms and a t-shirt. Ennis followed suit. When he got downstairs, Drew had made shepherds pie and salad.

"Salad?" Ennis said.

"You wanna cook for yourself?" Drew asked.

"Just saying," Ennis said, holding his hands up.

"How was your day?" Drew asked.

Ennis just groaned. "Shit," He said suddenly. "I forgot to call the damn vet!"

"I already did," Drew said. "He can make it tomorrow at around 11. Just before lunch."

"Tomorrow? How did you manage that?"

"I asked him real nice."

Ennis raised his brow.

"I told him we were having BBQ for lunch and he could come if he wanted," Drew finally conceded. "Now I have to go to town in the morning to get stuff to BBQ."

Ennis shook his head with a smile. Clever bastard. Always thinking about food.

* * *

Ennis did get his massage that night. Drew sat on his bum and used the lotion to knead out all the sore spots.

"Are you still having a bad day?" Drew asked. Using the tip of his finger he drew a word onto Ennis' back.

"Not so much anymore," Ennis said. "Pie."

"Good job. I can still show you some of that yoga if you're sore."

Ennis rolled his eyes. "Pansy."

Drew laughed and drew another word onto Ennis' back.

"Cobbler," Ennis guessed.

"Right again. You're good at this. I need to think of a harder word."

"It's easy enough," Ennis said, "all you think about is food."

Drew stuck his tongue out at the back of Ennis' head but since Ennis couldn't see him, he wrote another word on Ennis' back.

"Jerk," Ennis said.

"See," Drew said, "That wasn't food."

"I must be some kind of genius then." Ennis said flatly.

"Must be," Drew said quietly.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Not this again. Just tell me."

"I'm… I'm really happy."

"Bout what?"

"You. This. Us." Drew stuttered, almost shyly.

"What are you talking about?"

"Nothing. It's stupid, I know. It's just, I'm glad you're here."

"Course I'm here, I live here."

"Nothing," Drew said quietly, his finger beginning to move again over Ennis' back. "Forget I said anything."

"Idiot." Ennis guessed.

"Right." Drew said.

"Why am I an idiot? Wasn't I a genius just a minute ago?"

"Mmhmm," Drew said and traced an "I" with his finger.

"Ice cream," Ennis guessed. "What time did you say the vet was coming tomorrow?"

"Eleven and no," Drew said. His finger continued to trace "L."

Ennis tried to reschedule his chores for tomorrow while guessing the letters being written on his back. O. He could push some things back a little. V. Ilov? What the hell was that? E. Or he could wake up a little earlier. Ilove? Maybe he had mixed up the vowels. Olive? Food again, figures. Y. Olivey? They would be short one man tomorrow. Jerry's wife was pregnant and they had to go to the doctor. O. Still, they had enough people. But what should he push back? U. It felt like Drew was done writing. Now to put it all together. Oliveyou. That didn't make sense. Maybe the vowels weren't reversed. Iloveyou? That didn't make sense either. Wait! That wasn't an iloveyou it was an I love you! Oh shit!

"That was more than one word." Ennis said, trying to keep his voice calm.

Drew seemed to pull himself out of a trance as he heard Ennis' voice. He quickly rubbed his hand over the words he had just drawn and if to erase them. He got up quickly.

"I'm going to get a glass of water. Do you need anything?"

Without waiting for Ennis to answer he rushed down the stairs. Stupid, stupid, stupid! What was he thinking? What if he had scared Ennis away? Thank God Ennis hadn't guessed it. What was he expecting anyway? If Ennis had guessed it, it's not like he would have said the words back. Who knew if he even felt that way? As he continued to berate himself mentally, Drew got himself his glass of water gulped it down and refilled it again. He turned to go back upstairs and nearly walked straight into Ennis.

"Damn it, Ennis!" Drew yelped, the water from his glass splashing over the edge and landing in a little puddle on the ground. He turned to get a dish rag to clean it up but Ennis caught him by the waist and pulled him close. Drew was stepping in the wet puddle and was about to say something when he caught the look on Ennis' face.

"Wanna know why I didn't write back, the summer after our family stopped coming here?"

Drew nodded.

* * *

_Ennis was lying in his bed a week after he had returned home from his grandparents place in Hudson. Kyle was snoring gently in the bunk above as if there was nothing wrong in the world. Ennis wasn't quite sure what had happened between his father and his grandparents cause he had been down by the river with Drew. Tammy and Kyle had overheard but they didn't give him any details. All he remembered was walking into the house and almost promptly being shoved back out and strapped into the back seat with his brother and sister. His father, still angry, was driving at dangerous speeds and Ennis knew better than to ask any questions. His mother was silent but he could see the tears slipping down her cheek in the rear view mirror. As they drove by Drew's house, Ennis remembered that they were supposed to go fishing tomorrow but he would no longer be able to do that. Maybe next summer, Ennis had thought._

_From the bits and pieces of conversations and arguments between his parents, Ennis tried to figure out what had happened. His grandparents had wanted the children to stay in Hudson during the school year to lessen the burden on his parents. Although he would have loved to stay the entire year in Hudson and he'd get to see Drew so much more, Ennis knew how easily his father offended. He was a hard working man and he tried his very hardest to take care of his family. For some reason however, luck was not on his side. He had never had the luxury of going to school. He could barely read. Having worked on a farm his entire life, he had experience but he had injured himself on the job one day and since they were tight on money, he had never had it checked out. The injury ended up being rather serious and he lost a lot of strength in his left arm. He lost a lot of jobs because he just couldn't keep up with the work. Still, Mr. Del Mar tried his very hardest. _

_Ennis couldn't imagine not seeing his parents for an entire year. He would miss them so much. He was sure his mom would visit but his dad was always so bitter and angry when he went to Hudson. Ennis' grandparents would often give him a hard time and tell him he wasn't providing for their daughter and her children. Ennis didn't usually get to see his father during the week. He worked long hours and was exhausted when he would get home. Once, he used to play catch with them and bring them to the park on his days off but lately the world seemed to be weighing on his shoulders. Maybe it was losing all those jobs, his children asking him for new toys and him always having to disappoint them because they didn't have the extra money, his wife moping and missing her parents or his in laws constantly criticizing him. Maybe it was all these things put together but Mr. Del Mar was drawing further and further into himself. He drank a lot more these days and played with them less often. It made Ennis sad but he also silently took pity on his father. Ennis tried his best not to bother him, never to ask him for new toys or clothes, he spoke very little to him because he didn't want to frustrate his poor father any more. _

_It was around that time that Earl and Rich's secret was discovered. He didn't quite know why but those names always sent his father into a fury. Ennis would always go and hide in his room when their names were mentioned. It felt like someone had punched him right in the gut and he knew why. After their first kiss by the river, Drew and Ennis had resumed their friendship as usual but sometimes, when they were alone with no one around their lips would meet and it was a good while before they could tear away from each other. Ennis couldn't explain it but he really liked kissing Drew. He liked Drew's lips, the way his tongue darted out sometimes, he liked that Drew always tasted of candy and he even liked the butterflies he would get in the pit of his stomach when they kissed. Ennis had though that all that kissing was innocent and he had been positive that no one knew about it. Kyle had never caught them again after the first time and he knew Kyle would never tell anyone about it. But one day he heard his father yelling that he wouldn't tolerate having a queer corrupting his kids. _

_In a panic, and without realizing that his father was talking about Earl and Rich, Ennis gathered together all of Drew's letters and tucked them safely beneath his mattress. Maybe Kyle did tell his dad. What would happen to Drew? Was that why they had left in such a hurry? Ennis made a silent resolve to protect Drew in whatever way he could. Even if he was miles away. The only way he could think of was to avoid him all together. Ennis certainly didn't like the idea of not speaking to his best friend but it was only for a little while. Just until his father calmed down and this whole thing blew over. Or so he thought. His father brought him and Kyle out to the irrigation ditch just a few days later and Ennis' whole world changed. What had he done? Was his father trying to warn him about what happened to boys who kissed other boys? Was this where he would end up? Was it where Drew would end up?_

_He wouldn't let that happen. Ennis decided at that moment he would never speak to Drew again. It was a terrible and difficult decision but it would save Drew's life! Ennis would never be able to live with himself if Drew ended up in that irrigation ditch with Earl. When Ennis got home, he read all of Drew's letters one last time and through his tears, he tore each one of them into tiny pieces and threw them away. The very next day, a new letter came from Drew and although he knew he shouldn't have read it, Ennis just couldn't help it. Drew asked why he had left so early and why he hadn't said goodbye? He asked if it was something he had done and if there was any way he could make it up to Ennis. He promised Ennis his favourite baseball glove if Ennis just wouldn't be mad at him anymore. Unable to finish the letter, Ennis tore that one as well into shreds and never wrote back. A week later, Drew wrote again. Ennis tired not to open this one again but he wanted to know that Drew was ok. He read it and it was similar to the first. Drew seemed oblivious and that frustrated and relieved Ennis all at the same time. Drew wrote again and again. Ennis read each letter but always tore them up afterwards and he would never write back. Soon enough, Drew's letters became scarcer and one day they stopped coming altogether. Over time, Ennis thought less of Drew and one day he stopped thinking about him altogether. It was for the best.

* * *

_

When Ennis finally finished his story, he looked up to see Drew staring at him with moist eyes. Feeling awkward after having uttered so many words, Ennis shuffled from one foot to the other. He scratched the back of his head and waited for Drew to say something. A single tear slid down Drew's cheek and Ennis lifted his hand and brushed it away. It was a tender gesture and Ennis didn't even realize he had done it until Drew suddenly spoke.

"All that time, I thought you hated me." Drew's voice cracked.

"I had to, Drew."

Drew threw himself into Ennis' arms. "God, I wish I had known all that before. I might not have been so fucked up."

"What are you talking about? You turned out fine. You went to college, you lived in the city. You got over me. You didn't miss me that much."

"You can't begin to imagine," Drew said.

"What?"

Drew just pulled away and smiled. "We'll save that for another night, ok?"

Ennis nodded, happy to weasel himself out of another conversation. They began to head back upstairs when Drew remembered he hadn't locked the front door. Ennis waited for him at the bottom of the stairs.

"Ennis?" Drew called out. "How long has this package been here?"

"What package?"

Drew came back holding the package Kyle had left on the side table next to the door. Drew handed him the package and gave him a long deep kiss. "I'm going to head up," he said. "Don't be too long."

After another lingering kiss that promised more to come, Drew bounced up the stairs. Ennis watched him go with a shadow of a smile on his face. He was glad he was here too. He hadn't been happy in a long time and he was happy here, with Drew. It was funny how things worked out sometimes. He had never strung the words "I love you" together in his life. Not with Alma, Jack or Cassie and he wasn't sure what he felt with Drew but he was happy here. For now, he hoped it would be enough. He looked down at the package in his hands and his smile dropped. As did his heart in his chest. Lauren Twist. Lighting Flat, Wyoming. He needed to sit down for this.

* * *

AN: Ok, I know I am evil for stopping there but I feel it is necessary for me to remind everyone at this point that this is a story about Ennis moving on. I do feel that Ennis will need a pinch more closure before he can truly give himself over to the new relationship but I also feel that Ennis said most of his goodbyes in the book/movie so I don't see the need to rewrite that. 


	11. Inside the Package

…_He was happy here. For now, he hoped it would be enough. He looked down at the package in his hands and his smile dropped. As did his heart in his chest. Lauren Twist. Lighting Flat, Wyoming. He needed to sit down for this…_

Ennis pulled out a barstool and put the box on the counter. For a long time, all Ennis could do was sit and stare at the package. It had been sitting on the table next to the door for such a long time and he hadn't even noticed it. Jack was gone and still it seemed Ennis wasn't giving him the attention he deserved. He hadn't known it was from Jack's mother of course but that didn't make him feel any better. Well, he thought, there was no use delaying it any more. Carefully, Ennis peeled the tape off of the box. There was a lot of it and he took each piece off, trying to cause as little damage to the box as he could. It was just a box and he knew that but Ennis felt it deserved at least that respect. Once all the tape was gone, Ennis held his breath as he pulled back the flaps. Inside, he found a note.

_Dear Ennis,_

_My husband recently passed away. I have sold the farm and was clearing out the house when I came upon these things. At first, I was going to give them to the church so they could have a rummage sale but I thought maybe you would like them. They are just a few things from Jack's childhood. _

_Jack loved you very much. He never told me but I could see it every time he said your name. He was an optimist, like I used to be. But we live in a harsh time and a harsh place so I understand why you could never settle with him. I hope you can find happiness elsewhere. I lived most of my life miserable as I watched a man I once loved turn into a monster before my very eyes. I know I didn't do my job by Jack. I should have protected him. I know that and it's something I will continue to live with for the rest of my life. I know Jack would never hold it against me, he was too good a person. Just like he would never hold anything against you. He loved you far too much. _

_So here are a few things to help you remember him. Please remember him fondly. He was a happy spirit even if he was surrounded by storm clouds at the end of his life. He always had a mouthful to say about you. Some good, some bad but I know the happiest times of his life were when he was with you. _

_As for me, I will finally be able to travel with the money I made from selling the farm. I'm heading off to Texas first so that I can get to know my grandson. Lureen has been kind enough to let me stay with her for a few weeks. She's a very polite girl but I'm afraid Jack hurt her an awful lot. I don't know if I can give her any comfort but I will try my best. Good luck to you, Ennis. I hope you are happy and I know Jack would have wanted the very same thing. _

_Lauren Twist_

_P.S. I never read it. I knew it was private._

Ennis folded the letter again neatly and placed it next to the box. He wondered what that last line meant. Peering inside, he found the small wooden cowboy on his horse that he had seen in Jack's bedroom, a small teddy bear, Jack's first rodeo belt buckle, a handful of baseball cards in plastic sleeves, all the 3 word postcards Ennis had ever sent to him tied with a string and a journal. Ennis lifted the small book from the box like it was made of spun glass. He didn't know what to expect. He began to lift the front cover when a sheet of paper slipped out and fell on the floor. He got off his stool and swooped down to pick it up. It was a picture. Jack Twist, 19 years old, in front of his beat up truck. His mother had taken this just before Jack had set off to Signal for the summer. Jack Twist. The way he had looked when they had first met, the way he appeared now and again in his dreams. Ennis silently thanked Mrs. Twist. He certainly didn't want it to but time and age had begun to fade Jack in his mind. It was harder to close his eyes and picture him. He knew what Jack looked like of course but the image in his head was getting hazier. Now, he had a real image, Jack's youth frozen, black and white onto a sheet of photo paper that he could look at every time he missed him.

After a long look at the picture, trying to commit every detail to memory, Ennis tucked the picture back in between a few pages of the journal. Flipping to the first page, Ennis began to read. He couldn't believe it. He flipped through the pages quickly, scanning each one. The final page he read completely and when he was done, all Ennis could do was shake his head and smile. Leave it to Jack. He wished he had thought to write down their summer on Brokeback. Memories of it were not as vivid as they once were and some parts he had forgotten completely until he read them in this little book. Jack had documented the entire summer, right here in this book.

Ennis put all of Jack's belongings back into the box and headed over to the living room. He tucked the box on the highest shelf on the bookcase then made himself comfortable on the sofa. This time, he flipped the pages slowly, reading each word, remembering the summer so vividly. They had been so happy up there. The rest of the world beneath them and nothing but sheep and coyotes to worry about. Every day was penned in ball point blue, little scribbles on the side of some pages where the pen just refused to flow the first time.

Ennis got almost half way through the book when a yawn so wide his jaw popped. Ennis rubbed his jaw and decided maybe he would pace himself when reading this journal. He brought it over to the box and slipped it in with everything else. Drew owned most of the books on the shelf. He owned all of the books as a matter of fact. A lot of them from an author named Andy O'Neil. Ennis had never heard of him but that was no surprise, he wasn't ever one to read books. Jack's journal was different though. It was special. Only something he and Jack shared. Ennis could read that. He wanted to.

He headed upstairs to their bedroom. Their bedroom, Ennis repeated in his head. His and Drew's. This is what Jack always wanted, what he had asked him for every time tghey met up. Ennis was never able to give it to him but look at him now. Maybe he should call this thing with Drew off. He had no right to be happy and living the life Jack had always wanted for them with another man. Who knew that it could have been like this with Jack? It had just happened with Drew. Circumstance had put them together under one roof. Kyle had a wife and twins on the way. It just made sense to give them space. Drew's house was on the farm and he would have been the only one to live in it. Ennis hadn't meant for anything to happen between them. He hadn't even known he was attracted to Drew or that he could even be attracted to any man other than Jack.

Turning the corner, Ennis came down the hall and stopped dead in his tracks when he reached the doorway. Drew had fallen asleep, the thin white sheets wrapped around his slender waist and left leg. His left arm was tucked beneath the pillow and his right draped across his flat, firm stomach. Farm life had been good to Drew. He no longer complained about sore muscles and tiresome chores. His body was more defined, toned, his arms and chest stained in a healthy tanned glow. He was beautiful, even with his mouth partially agape and snoring softly, peaceful and most of all oblivious to Ennis' turmoil. Ennis wasn't blind. Drew looked at him like he was the only man in the world, he had just admitted that he loved him (sort of.) He saw the way Drew would light up when they would catch each other's glance, the way Drew's smiled beamed at him and sometimes it seemed, only for him. Ennis didn't quite know how, but somehow, it would seem, he made Drew happy too. That made him feel… good? Well, it certainly didn't make him feel bad. Valued maybe. Ennis hadn't felt valued in… ever. He tried to imagine how Drew would react if he tried to call off their relationship. Every scenario Ennis could think of left him with a sharp stab in the pit of his stomach.

Drew opened one eye and smiled sleepily at him. "You just going to stand there and stare or are you coming to bed?"

Ennis smiled and began to strip off his clothes. He climbed into bed with Drew and was greeted with a kiss. Ennis savoured it, enjoying Drew's soft lips, the tender press of Drew's forehead to his own, the way their noses brushed… Drew suddenly broke the kiss with a yawn and Ennis smiled. He turned Drew to his side and spooned him. "Sleep," He said with a kiss to the back of Drew's neck. Within minutes Drew was snoring softly again and Ennis decided he didn't want to break this off. Even if he didn't deserve to be happy, Drew certainly did.

* * *

The BBQ went well the next day. It turns out the cows just ate a bit of onion grass and were fine. Their milk would be back to normal in no time. Everyone thought this was good news. Everyone but Ennis who insisted that he scour the entire farm for onion grass in case of a future breakout. It didn't take him long to figure out that the task was next to impossible. The rest of the day went by uneventfully.

When Ennis came home that evening, he found Drew at the bookcase. Panicking initially, Ennis thought he had found Jack's journal. He should have hidden it better. Damnit. That journal was between him and Jack, no one else. A flash of anger passed through him and he approached Drew with quick, purposeful strides, ready to tear the journal out of his hand and give him a piece of his mind. Drew didn't even notice Ennis had come in. When Ennis got close enough, he realized that Drew's shoulders were slouched and he looked sad. He did read the journal, Ennis thought.

"What are you doing?" Ennis asked, his voice was tight.

Drew jumped at the sound of his voice. He spun around clutching the book he was holding to his chest. "Fuck, Ennis! Warn a guy!"

Ennis eyes fell on the book and he realized that Drew was holding one of his Andy O'Neil books. Not Jack's journal. Ennis's eyes traveled to the box. It looked unopened. He eyed Drew suspiciously. "What were you doing?"

Drew sighed, casting one last glance at the book before placing it back on the shelf next to the others. "Nothing. Just reading."

"Reading what?"

Drew frowned. "What's with you?"

"What?"

"Are you mad at me or something? I haven't touched anything of yours. You gave me that look the time you thought I took your red fire truck. Remember? You had tucked it into your suitcase for safekeeping and you forgot all about it?"

Ennis didn't say anything. He was still suspicious. It was just his nature.

"What do you think I've done," Drew asked carefully.

"Did you do anything?" Ennis countered.

"Nothing but look at my old novels and be dejected that I haven't written in almost 3 years."

"Did you look in the box?" Ennis asked, he was sick of beating around the bush. He wanted to know for sure.

"Box?" Drew looked back at the shelf and saw the box on the top shelf for the first time. "I didn't even notice it there. I wouldn't go through your stuff Ennis. You know that."

Ennis just grunted at him. He pushed past Drew and retrieved the box from the top shelf. Then, he turned around and headed upstairs with it tucked safely beneath his arm. Drew just stood rooted to the spot. There was a sharp stab of pain in his stomach. He wasn't quite sure what had just happened there. He hadn't done anything to upset Ennis. Earlier Drew had received a letter from his agent, urging him to start writing again. It hadn't occurred to him how much he had missed it until he had wandered over to the bookshelf to take a look at his older works. He couldn't imagine what had set Ennis off. He hadn't even seen the box and even if he had, he would never have opened it. It wasn't his, so it wasn't his business. Did Ennis really have such little faith in him? He felt the familiar prickling in his eyes but he shook the feeling away and went to the kitchen to make dinner.

Upstairs Ennis tucked the box on the top shelf of his closet. He would read a few more pages this evening. He pulled the journal out and placed it in his coat pocket. He should never have left it on the bookshelf. It would be safe here. Heading over to the dresser, he got himself a clean t-shirt and a new pair of pyjama bottoms. Turning on the shower, Ennis went over tomorrow's tasks in his head.

* * *

Drew had been silent throughout dinner. He didn't watch the ball game with Ennis afterwards either. He just silently went upstairs and shut the door to his old bedroom behind him. Ennis found this strange but didn't comment on it. Everyone was entitled to their space when they needed it. He watched the game for awhile but shut it off when his team were clearly headed for a colossal loss. He grabbed his coat and found his pack of cigarettes and his lighter. Heading outside, he turned the porch light on and settled in one of the wicker chairs that had been donated to them when the house had been built. Lighting up, he took a long deep puff. He flicked the ashes in a little tin can he had brought out as an ashtray. Using his free hand, he pulled the journal out of his pocket with a bit of a struggle. Then, he settled back with the book in one hand and his cigarette in the other as the memories of Jack brought him back to a place he missed more than he could put to words.

Ennis read until the cold evening air forced him back inside. He put the journal back into his jacket pocket and hung it on the coat rack by the mudroom. Drew still hadn't come down. Ennis got him a glass of water because he knew Drew would come down for it before bed anyway. He'd save him the trip. He went up to their bedroom but found that Drew wasn't there. They needed to get to sleep soon, Ennis thought. Lots to do tomorrow. He put Drew's glass down on his nightstand and went to brush his teeth. Ennis noticed that the light was still on in Drew's room. Letting himself in, Ennis was greeted to the sight of Drew sitting on his bed with his knees tucked under his chin, his arms clasped around his legs. He looked miserable. Ennis began to walk over to him but a crunch beneath his foot stopped him. He looked down and found the entire floor was covered in crumpled sheets of paper. Drew's typewriter as sitting on the desk next to his bed and a stack of fresh paper next to it. Ennis kicked a few wads of paper out of his way and sat on the edge of Drew's bed. Drew just seemed to curl up tighter. Ennis scooted over until they were facing, then lay his hand over Drew's. When he got no response, Ennis' brow furrowed.

"Drew," He tried. Drew peeked at him over his crossed arms. "What happened here?"

"I can't write anymore." Drew stated simply.

"Write what?"

"Anything."

"Didn't you say that you hadn't written in 3 years or something?"

Drew nodded weakly.

"Maybe you just need some time to get back… Wait, you're a writer?"

Drew looked up at him with an odd look on his face. "All this time and you didn't know that?"

"You never told me."

"My books are scattered all over the house."

"The only books I've seen are Andy O'Neil books and when is the last time you saw me touch a book?"

"Andy O'Neil," Drew said and pointed to himself.

"What?" Ennis was more confused now than when he had entered the room.

"I am Andy O'Neil."

Ennis just blinked at Drew.

"An_drew_, also known as Andy. That would be me. O'Neil was mom's maiden name. I thought you knew all this."

"I didn't know any of this." Ennis said shrugging.

"Well it doesn't matter anymore cause I can't write anymore so Andy O'Neil may as well be dead."

"After 3 years, you expected what? A whole book in one night?"

"No… Maybe. I never had trouble getting the words out before."

"Come on," Ennis said, raising up from the bed and holding a hand out to Drew. "We need to get to bed. We still have a farm to run in the morning. Give it a few days, maybe something will come to you."

Drew took Ennis' hand and was lead back to their bedroom. He almost turned to go get a glass of water when he noticed that Ennis had already brought him one. A smile crept across his cheeks but he took a sip and was ready for bed. He crept between the sheets next to Ennis and lay on his back staring at the ceiling. Ennis looked over at him. He wasn't quite sure what was wrong. Drew usually would cuddle into his arms or at the very least give him a kiss. Ennis slid over a bit and tugged at one of Drew's arms. Drew scooted over carefully, as if he were worried of getting too close. Ennis didn't know what to think so he figured maybe he should let it go. They lay silently in the dark for a few moments until Drew finally broke the silence.

"Are you still mad at me?"

The words were spoken in such a tiny voice that Ennis barely recognized it.

"Mad? About what?"

"I don't know." Drew's voice was still quiet and small. "You were mad at me when you got back this evening. Something about the box on the bookshelf."

Ennis lifted himself on an elbow and wished he could look into Drew's eyes. It was too dark for that. He settled for bringing his forehead to Drew's and pressing their lips together. "I'm not mad."

"I didn't open the box. I wouldn't do that, Ennis."

Ennis kissed him again. Deep and slow. "I know."

"I'm sorry." Drew said, quietly again.

Ennis kissed him very deep this time. He pulled Drew close, his hands travelling along his side beneath his shirt to his smooth chest. Drew began to reciprocate with more enthusiasm. They made love slowly that night. Ennis trying to erase all sadness from Drew's mind and Drew soaking in every sweet moment. He clung onto Ennis like a lifeline, like he wanted to cherish everything Ennis was willing to give him. When they were done, Drew cuddled into Ennis' side and rested his head on Ennis' shoulder. That's more like it, Ennis thought with a hint of a smile before he fell into a peaceful sleep.

* * *

AN: Ok, so now the package has been opened. Are we satisfied? Disappointed? Are we going to continue reading now that we know what's inside of the box? Let me know please!!! Review, review, review!!! 


	12. Just 3 Days

Now and Then (Chapter 12)  
Author: relic  
Rating: PG for this chapter.  
Pairing: Ennis/Drew(OC)  
Summary: Drew goes away for a few days and Ennis _doesn't_ miss him.  
WARNING! ENNIS MOVES ON IN THIS FIC!  
Reviews: Yes please!!!

* * *

A few days had passed since Drew had attempted to resurrect his writing career. Each day after dinner, he would go into his old room with a cup of tea and stare at the blank sheet in the typewriter until an idea stuck him. He had small bursts of inspiration - a paragraph, a turning point, a character, an event. Drew would write them down and lay them out on the bed. Afterwards, he would try to arrange them and rearrange them to put together some kind of storyline. He managed a few ideas but none that he fell in love with. However, counting his blessing, Drew was grateful that the few paragraphs he was able to write, were written well. All he needed was a good idea.

One day, Drew called his old agent and told him that he would like to write another story. Drew's agent, Gary Brown, was delighted. Instantly, the very busy Gary began drilling Drew with questions. What is it about? What are the characters like? When do you expect it to be finished? How much have you got so far? Shall I start booking a meeting with your publishers? Drew was almost afraid to tell him that he didn't have anything yet. He was just sure that he wanted to write again. Gary insisted that Drew come out to speak with him immediately. After discussing his plans with a few people, Drew packed his overnight bag and loaded it in the back of his new truck. He would only be gone for 3 days and for the first time ever, he was in no rush to leave.

Standing in the bedroom doorway, Ennis watched as Drew shuffled through his drawers again for the third time. He had already packed everything he needed. Ennis was sure of it, he had double checked himself. Now Drew was just stalling.

"Drew," Ennis finally said. "Stop moving. You've already got everything."

"I don't want to forget anything," Drew said, looking in the closet for the fourth time.

"You're coming back in 3 days!"

"I know." Drew said heading to the washroom for another check.

"You nervous or something?" Ennis asked.

"What? Why would I be nervous?" Drew asked.

"How should I know? You've been twitchier than usual though."

"I am _not _twitchy."

"Then stop turning this damn place upside down and get outta here already!"

Drew stood still for a moment and his shoulders dropped. "Alright. I'll get out of your way. I know you have lots to do." He headed down the stairs and almost made it to the door when Ennis caught him by the arm. Drew looked up at him confused.

"If you don't want to go, don't." Ennis said.

"No, I need to go. I want to write again."

"So?"

"I guess I am nervous."

"Just a meeting. He don't expect nothing final from you today. That's what you said at least."

"I know but it's been such a long time since I wrote. What if I can't do it anymore?"

"Then we got enough chores around here to keep you busy till you're dead."

Drew laughed half heartedly. "Yeah, I know."

"What else?" Ennis asked.

"Else?"

"Ain't just that," Ennis said and it wasn't a question.

Drew smiled. "How do you know?"

"I know you."

"What do you know about me?" Drew asked with a smile.

"Enough."

"You don't know the half of it," Drew said. "Maybe I'm just sad you're not coming with me."

"Drew," Ennis said rolling his eyes. "You know I can't come…"

"Yeah, yeah! I know why you can't come but that doesn't mean that I can't miss you."

"Just 3 days."

Drew planted a warm lingering kiss on Ennis' lips. "You won't miss me then?"

"You kidding me? With all the damn work you're gonna leave me, I doubt I'll sleep a'fore you get back."

"Ennis!" Drew pouted.

"What did I tell you about that? Don't even work with my girls."

"Fine," Drew stomped towards the door.

"Hey," Ennis called from behind him. "Don't I get a kiss?"

"You sure you're not too busy for that?" Drew asked, still pouting.

"Dumbass," Ennis said and he pulled Drew back and kissed him deep. "Now get!"

Drew soon found himself being pushed out of the house and towards his car. He got in and taking a final glance in the rear view mirror, he was headed towards the city. His lips still tingled from Ennis' kiss and Drew couldn't help but smile at the memory.

* * *

Drew parked in front of his old building at about 7 pm that evening. He paid for parking and grabbed his overnight bag. Mike and Angie were expecting him.

"So," Drew said sitting back in his chair, "When the big day for you two?"

Mike and Angie glanced at one another. "Well," Angie said, "we've decided that we're going to get married at City Hall."

"Why?"

"Cause Angie's parents are nuts," Mike said.

"Mike! They are not! They're just… they're… old and…"

"You have to get married at this church and by this minister and you have to invite these people that you've never met but I talked to once in line at the grocery store," Mike deadpanned in a perfect imitation of Angie's mother.

Drew laughed and Angie tried to look upset. Unfortunately it was true, Angie's mother was a control freak. It drove them both crazy.

"Anyhow," Angie said, "We're going to get married at City Hall then we're going to have the reception at the Parkway in about 2 weeks."

"You gonna tell you parents?" Drew asked.

"Oh God, no! We're going to tell everyone that we're having an engagement party and announce we've already gotten married after dinner."

"Your mom is going to have a fit!" Drew said with a laugh.

"Yeah," Mike said with a smile. "So, you gonna bring Ennis?"

"Bring him where?"

"To the reception?"

"Why would I do that?"

"Don't play dumb with me!" Mike said.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Drew countered casually.

"Andrew McGrath! After all these fucking years, you're going to keep something like this from me?"

"Something like what?"

"So are you going to bring your boyfriend or what?"

"Wait," Angie cut in. "You have a boyfriend! Drew! That's great! You have to bring him! I can't wait to meet him. When did this happen?"

"I never said I have a boyfriend." Drew said looking away.

"Oh, cut the crap, McGrath. Spill."

"How do you know anyway?"

"Cause you ain't ever looked this happy ever."

Drew blushed a little and pursed his lips to conceal the grin threatening to split his face in half.

"See!" Mike said, raising his arms in victory. "I knew it."

"How did you know it was Ennis?"

Mike just rolled his eyes. "What do you think I am? Blind?"

"Well you have to bring him to the wedding!" Angie cut in.

"I don't know." Drew said. "He's not a public kind of guy. We never go out together, not even to the store. He's real paranoid. He even makes us do chores on opposite sides of the farm so that no one will suspect anything. I don't think he'll want to come to the wedding as my date."

Angie looked disappointed. "What if I put his name on the invitation as well? Then he'll be directly invited and not just your date."

"Try it," Drew said. He still wasn't convinced.

* * *

"So, you miss him already huh?" Kyle said.

Kyle had swung by the diner after work and picked up some chilli for Ennis. Abey had called him earlier to remind him, knowing that Ennis would probably be eating plain bread on his own. She had also sent him some pudding for dessert. They had eaten the chilli and were now working on the pudding.

"What?" Ennis asked confused.

"Drew. You miss him already huh?"

"No. What makes you say that?"

"You're shaking salt on your pudding."

Ennis looked down to discover that he had the shaker in one hand poised over his bowl.

"Shows what you know," Ennis grunted. "It's pepper."

Kyle laughed. "Holy shit! Little brother, you made a joke."

Ennis rolled his eyes, put down the shaker and swirled his pudding with his spoon. He lifted it to his lips. He swiped his tongue over the spoon for a taste test and immediately made a face. Kyle continued laughing and nearly fell off the chair. One thing Kyle was glad for was that he was able to walk into the house tonight without the sight of his brother's naked ass before him.

"He's only gone for 3 days. 2 now."

"I know. I was just thinking about something I have to do tomorrow."

Ennis busied himself with the dishes. He didn't miss Drew. He hadn't even been gone 1 day yet. Ennis hadn't felt lonely when he had come home to an empty house at the end of the day. He hadn't missed the sound of Drew cooking, or the smell of Drew's Irish stew. He hadn't gone over to the bookcase and picked up an Andy O'Neil book and started to read and he certainly hadn't shoved it between the couch cushions when Kyle had come in. Nope, he didn't miss Drew at all.

"Ennis?" Kyle said from behind him.

Ennis grunted in response.

"You don't have to wash Styrofoam. You just throw it away."

Ennis looked down at the Styrofoam container Kyle had brought the chilli over in. He let out a frustrated grunt and tossed the offending object into the trash can with more force than necessary.

"Hey, little brother," Kyle said. "Don't worry about it. Once Abey went to visit her sister for the weekend and by the time she came back the house was a wreck and I looked like a bum."

"You always look like a bum."

"Listen, smartass, I'm trying to make you feel better here."

Ennis dumped himself onto the sofa and Kyle sat in the armchair next to him. He sighed loudly. "How can you be ok with this?"

"With what," Kyle asked.

"That your brother is a…" Ennis stopped. He couldn't even finish his sentence.

"He's still my brother."

"You weren't… I don't know, shocked, surprised, anything?"

Kyle thought for a moment. "I never really thought about it but I guess now that I always knew really."

Ennis looked at him with a frown.

"I caught you and Drew kissing when we were kids."

"You made us stop."

"You never did though." Kyle said with a smirk.

Ennis averted his eyes but couldn't deny it.

"Ennis. Hey Ennis, listen to me. I think Drew's real good for you. I ain't seen you like this in a long time. You're a lot less uptight with him around. I'd even go so far to say that you're happy. And Drew, well, he's a pain in the ass but he's nuts about you. You make him real happy too. He's been though a lot of shit as well but I think that you two go good together. Ain't nothing wrong with missing him. Although, I have to say I am enjoying the quiet."

_I think I miss the noise, _Ennis thought to himself.

"Ok," Kyle said getting up. "I need to head back. I'll come by again and we can BBQ some burgers or something."

"I can feed myself."

"Hey, don't look at me. Abey threatened to cut me off if I didn't make sure you were fed."

Ennis made a face.

"Serves you right, bro. Now you know how I feel." Kyle laughed and headed out.

Ennis shook his head and smiled. Who knew he and his brother could be friends? He shifted around a bit. Something was jabbing into his thigh. Shoving his hand between the cushions, he retrieved Drew's book and flipped it open. Not because he missed Drew! He was reading because there was nothing on TV. Putting his legs up on the coffee table, Ennis settled back and read. He figured he would only read a few pages but when he needed to go to the washroom, he put the book down and found that he was already a third of the way through it. Drew had written this book? His Drew? The always cheerful Drew that he had grown up with? It was impossible. This book was about a deeply depressed character, John, who abused drugs and alcohol and shoved all the people who loved him away. Ennis, thinking that he knew Drew pretty well, read on and on positive that the book would take a sudden twist and all would work out in the end. He was relieved to see a little of Drew in the story when John was able to come to terms with the damage his addiction caused and quit cold turkey. His relief was short lived however as John's life was cut short by an allergic reaction to a drug prescribed to him by his doctor for a common bug. It was so morbid. No doubt Drew was a great writer but Ennis was starting to see that there was a lot more to Drew that he didn't know about.

Well, it would have to wait for now. Ennis put the book back on the shelf and headed upstairs. The bed felt big and cold and Ennis thought that maybe he did miss Drew. Just a little bit.

* * *

AN: What do you think of Drew work? Do you think Ennis should go to the wedding? Let me know. Review!!! 


	13. Coming Home

It had been another rotten day for Ennis. He couldn't figure out what the hell was wrong with him. He was like a lovesick teenager. He couldn't stop thinking about Drew. It almost made him want to slap himself. The ranch hands would have really gotten a kick out of that. He managed to control himself though and just worked twice as hard. He took no breaks, only went to the toilet when he really couldn't hold it in any longer and hadn't had a bite to eat since the burnt toast at breakfast that morning. He was still working well after the other men had gone home and the sun had set. Now it was too dark to do any more chores so he finally dragged himself back to the house. Kyle was sitting on the front steps smoking a cigarette.

"Took you long enough," Kyle said.

"Farm won't run itself." Ennis grunted. "I ain't got no comfy chair and office to sit in."

"I do more than sit in the office," Kyle said with a smile. Truth was, there really wasn't much to do in this town. He did spend an awful lot of time in that office.

Ennis chose not to say anything. No point, he thought. Kyle picked up the brown paper bag and followed Ennis inside. He dropped the bag on the kitchen counter as Ennis went to the back to get the BBQ ready. The air was nice and cool outside. The end of the summer was fast approaching. There would be tons of work to do before winter but for the moment, they would enjoy the late summer breeze. Standing next to the BBQ, sipping beer, Kyle chatted and Ennis peppered the air with the occasional one word response. When the burgers were almost cooked, Ennis realized they had forgotten to bring out plates. He headed back in as Kyle moved the burgers around to avoid burning them.

Ennis had just pulled two plates out of the cupboard when he thought he heard the distinct sound of a car door slam. That was strange, he thought. Who would come here now? He figured it might be one of the ranch hands that had forgotten something.

"Ennis!" Kyle called, coming in from outside, "You got those plates yet? The burgers are gonna start burning."

"Yeah, they're on the counter," Ennis answered. "I'm going to get the door."

Kyle found the plates on the counter and was about to head back outside when he heard 2 doors open simultaneously. Peeking around the doorway, he saw Ennis at the front door looking around in the dark. Not seeing anyone, Ennis shut the door again and headed back to the kitchen. All of a sudden he stopped short and Kyle saw his eyes widen in surprise then his face split in a huge grin he hadn't seen on his brother's face since they were kids. Before he could question the grin, Ennis was rushing forward and a blur of colour flew by the kitchen doorway and towards Ennis. Kyle reached for his gun on instinct but his hand soon dropped again when he recognized the blur.

The force of Ennis and Drew coming together was so strong, Kyle was impressed that neither fell over. In his enthusiasm, Drew jumped up onto Ennis' body and wrapped his legs around the other man's hips. They were both grinning like idiots. When their mouths finally came together, Kyle rolled his eyes a little. They were nauseatingly cute. Still, Kyle couldn't help but smile. His brother hadn't been this happy in years. Not that he'd known about anyway.

"We've never tried it this way before," Drew panted lustily to Ennis.

"Hello!" Kyle interrupted quickly. "Keep your paws off of each other until I leave!"

Ennis had completely forgotten Kyle was here. He lowered Drew carefully onto the ground but stayed close anyway. Drew wrapped his arm around Ennis' waist and turned to Kyle.

"Oh hey, Kyle. I didn't know you were here. Nice of you to drop by. Now get out."

"Thanks, asshole!" Kyle rumbled.

"Jeez, Kyle, I know you like to watch but you being here really kills the mood." Drew said.

"Shut up, dumbass. You ain't been home a whole 2 minutes yet. Keep your pants on for 2 more and I'll be outta here."

"Sorry," Drew said, although he really didn't sound very sorry. "I can't help myself. I just can't get enough of Ennis' great big…"

"AHH!" Kyle slapped his hands over his ears and ran out the front door.

Drew crowed with laughter. Ennis gave him a reprimanding look but the corner of mouth still curled slightly. Ennis moved in to kiss him again when…

"ENNIS!" Kyle voice boomed from outside. "I FORGOT MY KEYS ON THE COUNTER."

Drew laughed again and headed to the kitchen himself, grabbed the keys and tossed them to Kyle who was waiting impatiently by his car. Drew offered him a big smile and a wave but Kyle only glared at him in return. Shrugging, Drew shut the door and pulled Ennis upstairs.

They were both in various states of undress by the time they reached the bedroom. Ennis had Drew pinned against the dresser with his jeans pooled around his ankles. Drew was working hard at trying to unbutton Ennis' jeans as well. In his excitement, and with the distraction of Ennis' proximity and kisses, Drew's fingers just seemed to tug uselessly. Ennis reached down and gave him a hand. Kicking off their pants, Drew let out a cry of protest as Ennis was suddenly walking away from him.

Ennis returned carrying the lube. "Turn," he said.

Drew turned on command and braced himself against the dresser. Ennis slicked him up then coated himself. "Turn."

Drew turned again, a bit confused.

"Up," Ennis said.

Drew's eyes lit up. "Really? We're actually going to?"

"Changed your mind?" Ennis asked.

Drew shook his head and bounced up into Ennis's waiting arms. He wrapped his arms around Ennis' shoulders and his legs around Ennis' waist. Propping him up as best as he could, Ennis guided himself to Drew's hole. As soon as he has eased his way in, Drew let out a ragged breath. Or maybe it was a sigh.

"I can't believe we're doing this." He smiled against Ennis' lips.

"Your idea," Ennis reminded.

"I didn't think you… Oh… Mmm, Ennis… feels so good."

"You always say that," Ennis said with a small smile.

"It's always true," Drew whispered, bumping his nose affectionately against Ennis' before closing the short distance to his lips.

It was only a matter of minutes before Drew began to slip. Ennis tried to bounce him back up but his arms were beginning to get tired. "Bit awkward," he said as he set Drew down on the ground.

"Yeah," Drew had to agree, "but it sure was fun!"

Ennis kissed him quickly before spinning him around. Giving Drew a moment to brace himself against the dresser before entering him again. Drew's body hugged him tightly. This was much easier. This way he could pound into his lover's warm body to his hearts content…

* * *

Drew sighed against Ennis' chest.

"So, how have you been feeding yourself while I was gone?" Drew asked.

"What is with you people? I can cook for myself you know."

"You cooked?"

"I would have but Kyle and Abey are convinced I would starve without them. You hungry? We're makin... SHIT!"

Ennis leaped out of bed and grabbed his jeans. He raced out the door while tugging them on and nearly toppled down the stairs. Drew frowned at him and quickly but not as clumsily got dressed and followed him downstairs. Ennis was standing in the kitchen with a plate of burgers before him on the counter and he was reading a note. Drew wrapped one arm around Ennis and kissed his bare shoulder, while he picked up a burger with the other hand.

"What's that?" He asked before taking a bite.

Ennis handed him the note.

_Ennis,  
We almost let the house burn down again. Was half way home before I remembered.  
I made fresh burgers. Don't ever say I ain't good to you!  
You know Drew drives me crazy but he adores you and I can't remember the last time I've seen you look so happy. Reminds me of when I met Abey. I guess we ain't so different after all.  
Kyle_

"How did you almost burn the house down?" Drew frowned.

"BBQ was on when you came home. Forgot all about it."

"Hmm... I guess I owe him then," Drew said. "I suppose I could tease him less."

"Ok," Ennis said.

"All bets are off if he acts like a jerk though."

"Ok," Ennis said again.

"He's smarter than I give him credit though."

"Hmm?"

"We ain't so different and I really do adore you," Drew said with a kiss.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" Ennis said breaking the kiss. "You ain't supposed to be back till tomorrow."

"My meeting was done before noon and I missed you too much to stay there any longer. Didn't you miss me?" Drew asked teasingly.

Ennis coughed and took a big bite of burger. Drew wrapped his arms him from behind and dropped featherlight kisses on Ennis' shoulders.

"No? Didn't even miss me a little?"

There was no answer but Drew hadn't expected one. He was content to be home with his arms wrapped around the man he loved. It was quite the surprise when Ennis finished his burger, turned around and practically scooped him off the ground with the hungriest kiss. They stayed that way for a long time and it was Ennis who broke the silence.

"Give me more notice next time. I'll come with if I know things are taken care of here."

"Speaking of which, we've been invited to Mike and Angie's wedding."

"You have?" Ennis said.

"We have," Drew corrected.

"We?"

"We," Drew repeated.

"You and me?"

"No one else here."

"Why would they invite me?"

"Because you're my lover," Drew giggled.

"You told them!" Ennis cried.

"No. Of course not. Mike knew somehow."

"How?"

"Beats me."

"Drew, I can't go."

"Why not?"

"They know!"

"I know, they know. But Ennis, they know and they still invited us."

"No."

"Ennis!"

"No!"

"But they even put your name on the invitation. Look."

Drew walked over to where he had dropped his bag and shuffled around inside of it. Soon he came back carrying a plain white envelope. Sure enough, the invitation was addressed to Andrew McGrath and Ennis Del Mar. Ennis took the envelope in his hands and read it over again a few times. It really was addressed to him. Even though they knew. They knew and they were OK with it. What the hell was the world coming to? First Kyle and now Drew's old roommate and fiance?

"Mike and I have a bunch of gay friends Ennis. Some of them will be there with their boyfriends. It's no big deal."

"No big deal? It ain't a matter of who's okay with it. It's the people who ain't that's the problem."

"Ennis, no one is going to attack us at the wedding."

"How do you know that?"

"We're going to their wedding. They will be centre of attention. No one will pay attention to us. It'll be fine. Besides, they wouldn't invite anyone who would cause trouble. It's a really small wedding. Please," Drew said with a pout, "If I go alone I'll miss you the entire time and be terrible company."

Ennis just stared at the envelope. Damn Drew. Optimistic idiot. He was going to get them killed. There was no way in hell every guest at the wedding would be ok with two men showing up together. Did Drew say something about other gay couples there? When the hell did they become gay? And a couple? Just because they lived together, cooked together, cleaned together and slept in the same bed didn't mean... The thought of someone else touching Drew did make his fists clench... Holy shit. They really were a couple. When the fuck did that happen?

Drew was getting damn good at that pout. It was getting hard to say no to him. And he sure as hell didn't want to go through another 2-3 days like he just had. What the hell would he do at a wedding? What if Drew wanted to do something stupid like dance. He couldn't even dance with women. What would he even wear, he only owned jeans.

"Ain't got nothing to wear," he said. There, that was a good excuse.

"Well I know that. You really need some dress up clothes. You'd look so damn sexy in a suit."

"Drew..."

"Don't worry about it, Ennis. I'll take care of everything. All you need to do is come with me."

Ennis groaned.

"Just think about it then." Drew told him with a kiss. "You don't have to tell me now. Sleep on it."

* * *

AN: Please forgive me for the hiatus. I know it's been far too long and I hope I haven't lost you. I'm already working on the next chapter so I promise it won't take so long until I get the next chapter up. Review please!


	14. The Wedding

WARNING! Major shocks in this chapter. Ennis does things NEVER expected but I stand by them and although they may seem OOC for Annie Proulx's Ennis, they are part of the evolution of Ennis in this story. Please review!

* * *

Ennis sat on the bed wondering what the hell he was doing. For the first time in his life he was staying in a nice hotel, one with clean sheets, a mint on the pillow and a bellhop to carry your bags to your suite. He had seen a chandelier for the first time in his life. In a little while, he would be going to a wedding, in a reception hall where they probably had flowers and candles on each table. And he was going to this wedding with another man! What had possessed him to agree to this?

The door to the bathroom opened and out stepped Drew in a black suit, white shirt and emerald green tie. There was a little green handkerchief poking out of his breast pocket. Drew patted down his jacket and walked over to Ennis giving him a "What do you think?" look. He spun around slowly, letting Ennis see his new suit from all angles.

"Well?" Drew asked.

Ennis blinked.

"Really?" Drew said disappointed. "I would have thought you would at least like the way the pants hugged my butt."

Drew turned around partially and tugged the tail of his jacket up to demonstrate his point. He thought his bum looked good in dress pants. He knew Ennis was not fond of the suit but even Drew was pleased with himself today. An arm snaked around his waist and the ground was suddenly pulled out from under him. Drew landed on the bed with a thump. Before he could let out even a gasp of surprise, Ennis was on top of him, tongue already seeking entrance. Maybe Ennis liked suits more than he let on. Drew nearly grinned into Ennis' kiss. This was exactly what he had wanted to do yesterday while he watched Ennis try on suit after suit. He had even been ready to take it a step farther and do naughty things to him the change room. Not that Ennis would have ever let him but the thought had crossed his mind more than once. When Ennis began to undo the button on his pants, Drew pulled himself out of his daze.

"Wait! Ennis, stop. We'll be late for the wedding."

"So?"

"So? Mike will never let me hear the end of it if I'm late for his wedding because we were fooling around."

"How's he going to know?"

"Because you're wrinkling my suit! Up! Up! Up!"

Ennis rolled over with a displeased grunt. Drew quickly got to his feet and began smoothing down his suit, looking himself over in the full length mirror. When he deemed himself looking absolutely not dishevelled, he turned to Ennis and frowned.

"Why aren't you dressed?"

"What am I wearing?"

Drew rolled his eyes and pointed to the closet. Ennis pulled out the hanger off the rail and headed to the bathroom to get cleaned up. Drew heard the water running and guessed that Ennis was shaving. While he waited, Drew sat on the edge of the bed and tugged on his shiny black shoes. Giving them a final quick polish, he looked himself over in the full length mirror and decided he was ready. Next, he walked over to the desk and tried to figure out what he should write in the card. He tapped his pen against his lips a few times, wrote a few words, tapped his pen, wrote a few more…

The bathroom door opened and Ennis came out wearing dark grey dress pants, a white shirt and a navy blue cashmere sweater.

"I think they forgot to pack the noose," Ennis said "and the jacket."

Drew laughed and turned around to admire Ennis' ensemble. Maybe Mike wouldn't notice if they were a bit late… No! The way Ennis looked right now with the way Ennis has kissed him a little while ago, there was no way they would only be a _little _late.

"I didn't get you a tie or a jacket."

"Ain't I gonna need one?" Ennis asked confused.

"Honey, you called it a noose. You tugged at it the entire time it was on yesterday and that was only 10 minutes. There's no way you'd last the entire night. You didn't look too happy with the blazers either and there wasn't enough time to have one tailored to you. Besides," Drew said, coming to stand in front of Ennis and running his hands appreciatively down Ennis' chest, "you look perfect."

They kissed again. Short and sweet this time, much to Ennis' displeasure. Drew pulled Ennis over to the desk and asked him to sign the card. Once he was done, Drew tucked the card into an envelope and tucked it into one of the pockets on the inside of his jacket.

"Ready?" Drew asked.

Ennis shrugged. As ready as he was ever going to be, he figured.

* * *

"You alright?" Drew asked, giving Ennis' hand a squeeze under the table.

Ennis glanced around, checking to make sure no one was paying attention to them before squeezing back. So far, it hadn't been too bad. The place was fancier than Ennis could have ever imagined, there were linen tablecloths, fresh flowers and candles on each table and even the chairs were dressed up in some sort of white dresses with a big satin bows on the backs. Ennis felt like a sore thumb. Luckily, Mike and Angie made their big announcement shortly after Drew and Ennis sat down so all the attention was immediately drawn to the newlyweds and Ennis felt a little more at ease, blending into the background. Angie's mother, of course, had made a scene and a small bout of chaos ensued. This Mike quickly calmed everyone with the promise of an open bar after dinner which would be served at once if everyone would please sit down. This worked for the guests however it caused a mild panic attack with Ennis. Why were there so many forks and spoon next to his plates? He used less cutlery in a week. As the soup was served, Ennis eyed the spoons nervously. Drew gently tapped him with his elbow and picked up the furthest spoon from his plate. Ennis did the same and all was well again. The rest of the meal had gone on without further incident.

"Yeah," Ennis said after a moment.

"It might get a little uncomfortable for bit," Drew said tentatively.

Ennis gave him a questioning look.

"This guy approaching us is a little... enthusiastic. Don't let him scare you, he's harmless but a little flirty and annoying. Try not to punch him in the face."

"No promises," said Ennis.

Drew had to laugh. They stood and waited as they watched said man and a few others approach them. Drew greeted them each with a hug. Ennis stood back and out of the way for the moment but all the while keeping a firm eye on the men putting their hands on his man. The guy Drew had warned him about was lingering longer than necessary. Why was he touching Drew's chest? At this rate, this asshole would be lucky if Ennis just punched him in the face. Luckily, Drew awkwardly disentangled himself and gave Ennis a smile. Then he began his introductions.

"Okay, so this is Mark, Darren, Justin and..."

"Who is this gorgeous thing?" The touchy man interrupted as he finally caught a glimpse of Ennis.

"Down, boy!" Drew warned.

"I'm sure he doesn't bite."

"No, but he might kick you ass," Drew said. "Behave."

"Don't I always?"

Drew rolled his eyes. "Ennis, this ridiculous man is Peter. Everyone, this is Ennis."

"Pleasure to meet you, Ennis," Peter flirted. "Where has Drew been hiding you all this time? You are delicious! You've got the whole sexy, brooding thing going."

Ennis' eyes went wide and he glanced around to make sure no one had heard. His jaw was clenched and his hand curled into fists.

"Back off, Peter." Drew warned again, all the humour was gone from his voice this time.

"I'm just trying to be nice," Peter said. "No need to get your panties in a twist. Okay! I know that look, I'm just going to go over to my table now. See you around."

What a strange man, Ennis thought.

"Sorry," Drew said quietly. "He's the campiest. Everyone else is much more subtle."

"Sorry, Drew," Mark said. "We tried to stop him but he made a beeline as soon as he saw you."

"No harm done," Drew said.

The two couples they had been sitting with had gone off to other tables to chat with other guests so Mark and Darren, who were also couple, sat down and to catch up with Drew and get to know Ennis. Justin had gone off to make sure Peter didn't get in any more trouble. Drew was talking about the farm and the difference between living in the country and the city but Ennis wasn't really paying attention. He was busy noticing how many people were noticing Drew. A few times, someone's gaze lingered longer than necessary on Drew but a well placed glare quickly averted their eyes. Ennis looked over at Drew who was listening intently to a story Darren was telling. He looked like Drew. Sure he was wearing a suit and it looked great on him but Drew always looked great. What the hell was everyone staring at? He looked around trying to find something or someone else worth looking at but the sound of Drew's laughter brought his attention right back to his Drew. His Drew. Ennis felt a strange puff of pride within him. He slid his hand beneath the tablecloth and rested it subtly on Drew's knee. He felt the small gasp of surprise then, Drew continued his coversation as if nothing had happened. Ennis turned his attention back to the conversation. It would be impossible to get everyone to stop looking at Drew but as long as they stayed away from him, Ennis could handle that. Drew's hand crept under the tablecloth and came to rest atop of Ennis'. Yup, thought Ennis, he could definitely handle this.

The rest of the party went by without any further trouble. The rest of Drew's friends were very ordinary. Ennis even managed to hold a conversation with a group of them who were interested in the happenings of a typical day on the farm. When the newly weds came over, neither had a chance to wish them congratulations. Angie squealed that she was SO excited to finally meet the man who made Drew happier than he had ever been and squeezed them both in a tremendous hug! Both men blushed and Mike shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. Thinking quickly as always, Drew distracted her with an invitation to dance while Mike and Ennis made small talk. Well, Mike made small talk and Ennis tried his hardest to answer in sentences rather than single words. After the dance Angie was disappointed to hear that they were leaving the following day. Drew invited them to come down and visit whenever they would like on the condition that Angie try her hardest not to embarass him. Angie smiled a little too innocently and agreed.

* * *

"That wasn't so bad then," Drew asked as they waited for the elevator up to their room.

"No," Ennis had to admit. "Not so bad."

"Tired?"

Ennis shook his head.

"You want to go to a bar and get a drink?"

Ennis shrugged. "If you want."

"Well, there is this one place I wanted to take you..."

"Ok," said Ennis.

"It's... It's not a regular bar." Drew said tentatively.

"If they have beer then I'm good."

"Ok but you need to tell me if you want to leave. OK?"

Ennis nodded and Drew went to ask the front desk to call them a cab. 10 minutes later they were standing in front of a pretty regular looking bar. Instead of going in the front door, Drew lead Ennis to a side door and up a flight of stairs. At the very top there was a red door and a man wearing black leather pants and a very tight shirt. Drew handed him a card from his wallet which was carefully inspected then handed back. The doorman pulled open the red door and they were let in.

At first sight, Ennis thought it looked pretty normal to him. Pool table, dart boards, bar, barstools, tables, chairs, booths, dance floor... Nothing out of the ordinary here.

"Drew McGrath," the bartender called out waving them over. "Well fuck me!"

"You wish, Alex," Drew said with a grin.

"I do, you know," Alex replied with a wink.

Ennis frowned. What was with the people in this city?

"I thought you had fallen off the face of the earth." Alex continued. "Where the hell you been?"

Drew ordered Ennis a beer and himself a Coke as he told Alex about his parents and the farm and so on. Ennis looked around again and noticed there were a lot of men here. There were usually at least some women at all the bars he'd been to. But this place only had men patrons. And they were awfully cheerful and touchy for a bunch of men in a bar. A whole bunch of them were dancing. Together!

His thoughts were cut short when a beer, a coke and a cue ball were pushed their way.

"Who's your friend?" Alex said.

"This... this is Ennis," Drew said shyly.

"Boyfriend?"

Ennis nearly gagged on his beer. The look on his face was somewhere between shock and horror. Drew looked at him a little torn. On the one hand, he didn't really know what to answer and on the other hand, he wanted to comfort Ennis but he knew better than to try and touch him in public.

"Ok, forget I asked," Alex said quickly. "So, Ennis, I take it you've never been to a gay bar?"

Ennis' mouth fell open. He looked a bit like a deer caught in the headlights. Drew shot Alex a look to please shut up and go away. Understanding immediately, Alex did just that without another word. Drew was feeling guilty, nervous and panicky. He wanted to wrap his arms around Ennis and calm him down, tell him it was ok but at the same time he wanted to beg for forgiveness and hoped Ennis wouldn't hate him.

"I was trying to tell you," Drew said. "Do you want to go?"

Ennis couldn't answer. He was in a gay bar. A GAY bar with men who liked other men! Who knew a place like this even existed? How could there be a bar like this and no one know about it? He was already imagining and angry mob with torches and pitchforks waiting for them outside. But Drew had been here before and he was ok. There were lots of men here who were ok and didn't seem to be afraid at all. Most of them were just normal men, nothing particularily "queer" about them. How was this possible?

"Ennis?" Drew said tentatively. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought you here. We can go. I'll just go pay Alex."

"No," Ennis said, snapping out of his thoughts and seeing the droop of Drew's shoulders. "We can stay."

"Really?"

"Yeah, they have beer," Ennis said taking a sip. He knew Drew well enough to know that Drew had a reason for bringing him here. He didn't know why yet but he knew Drew wouldn't have brought him if he thought Ennis couldn't deal.

"Thank you," Drew said quietly. No need to state the obvious. They understood one another.

They went over to the pool table. Drew broke then sank 3 balls before he missed. While Ennis cleared the table, Drew noticed how many people were noticing Ennis. That brought a smile to his face. Ennis really had no idea how good looking he was. In some ways, it made him even sexier. Drew felt the warm fuzzies in the pit of his stomach again. He felt like the luckiest man in the world and yet a small nagging voice at the back of his head was telling him that this wasn't real, and he didn't deserve this happiness. Shaking his head from those thoughts, Drew gulped the rest of his coke and with a word to Ennis went back to the bar for a refill.

"Drew?" Said a man sitting at the bar. Drew recognized him and groaned inwardly.

"Hey Seth."

"Where have you been hiding?"

"I moved back home."

"Hard times? You can come stay with me. I'll take real good care of you."

Drew gagged a little at the thought. "No, thanks. I'm good."

"You know," Seth said leaning forward, "we haven't seen each other in awhile. You and I should go somewhere quiet and catch up. My place is nearby."

Drew took a step back and bumped into someone. Turning his head to apologize, Drew was relieved to see that it was Ennis.

"Hey, back off buddy," Seth said to Ennis. "Drew and I were just going to head out."

Oh God, Drew thought. He didn't care much if Ennis broke that creep's face or even if they got kicked out of the bar. He just hoped to God that Ennis didn't believe what this moron had just said. Drew was very surprised when Ennis' arm wrapped protectively around his waist. Drew turned his head to give his gratitude for the rescue when Ennis did something that absolutely blew his mind.

"The hell you were, _buddy_," Ennis said with a withering glare.

Then, turning his attention back to Drew he gave him a quick peck on the lips. Drew was so surprised that he just stood there with his mouth hanging open while Ennis waved Alex over, handed him back the cue ball and a few notes. Then Ennis lead Drew out of the bar and down the stairs, all the while never removing the protective hand at the small of his back. All the way back to the hotel, Drew remained speechless.


End file.
